Kanda's journal
by itachianimefan
Summary: This is about Kanda's daily journal entries...which he holds ahem dear. Please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Somedays he tends to be lazy, but that's just Kanda for you. -. Please read & review, it will make Kanda feel loved :P
1. Chapter 1

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 15th, 1809

12: 07pm

Dear Diary, Sorry about that, let's start over…

Hey journal,

Wow, I didn't know that sounded so cheesy, but hey, I was compelled to. This is some stupid child's idea; I don't even have anything to say. This is so weird, I feel senile, and it feels like I'm talking to myself, (though I sometimes do). Well, I guess I should start with my day.

Today is a typical day in the nineteenth century, overcast and gloomy. I'm at headcounters right now, awaiting my next mission to be assigned. It's around midday right now, and I just finished eating my daily supply of Soba…I like that food. Huh? Sorry about that, there's a knock at my door, hang on a sec.

12: 35pm

Jeez! I hate that kid! That-that BEAN SPROUT! Yeah, the capitals literally mean I'm yelling…in my head. Right know I'm annoyed. Stupid bean sprout. He's really annoying, like really do I really care that his birthday is coming up. Oh, wait you don't know. So let me give you some insight to my problems. Hmm…how do I do this? I'm really bad at writing and stuff. And it's not funny so don't laugh. …What? No, you insolent fool, I am NOT illiterate! I can write, just not like an amazing goddess of words. …sorry, _god_. Do you really think I'm that stupid? Well, I'm sorry that I used 'goddess' instead of 'god'. It's the same thing, is it not? Shut up! Of course I know I'm a guy what kind of question is that?! If only I could cut you down.

Whatever, getting back to the matter at hand. I'll write you a script of the conversation. You know, I'm really good at memorizing conversations ^_^, it's my stronghold. What's that you ask? NO. I. Am. Not. A. Stalker. What do you people take me for, I just have a good memory, is that a sin?! (Insert angry mark here). (Calming down) So here's the script.

_KNOCK! KNOCK! _

_Me: Darn what is it know? And just when I got this new __diary__ journal. _

_Allen: Hey Buddy! It's me! _

_Me: …_

_Allen: Come on, don't be Mr. Grumpy, let me in. I have something important to talk to you about. _

_Me: Don't care. Go away. _

_Allen to Lavi: Why? _

_Me: Okay if Lavi is there, I am DEFINATELY not coming out. _

_Lavi: Come on Yu. _

_Me: Don't call me Yu or I'll cut you. _

_Allen: I dare you. _

_Me: Shut up BEAN SPROUT! Now go away, can't someone have some privacy around here? _

_Both (in an I-so-know-what-you're-doing voice): …ARE YOU WRITING TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND? _

_Me: No losers don't have one and don't need one. Now go. _

_Allen: So mean….so cold…._

_Lavi: Oh it's alright Kanda, I'll be yours if you want. _

_Me: You must really want to die. _

_Lavi: Are you in the washroom?_

_Allen: That's what you get for eating Soba. _

_Me: (twitching why grabbing a sword) Okay, I'm coming out. _

_Both: Yeah!! …wait do you think he's actually mad? _

_Lavi: Hmm, why would Yu be mad? I just offered to become his girlfriend; he must feel like the most luckiest man in the world. _

_Allen: But…I thought I heard malice in his voice? _

_Lavi: Hmm…that was the happiness when he heard my offer. Then we can get married. _

_Allen: Uh…well two guys and…uh…_

_Lavi: That's okay, Yu can play wife. _

_Me: (Opening the door) Hello guys, it's time to die. _

_Lavi: Wow Yu, you could so play the bad guy in like plays and stuff. _

_Me: DON"T CALL ME YU DAMMIT!!! _

_Lavi…you have nice smelling breath, which I must admit I'm surprised (turning to Allen) I thought Soba not only tasted, but smelled bad and he eats it every day. :3_

_Me: This is beside the point, but I brush my teeth every day, after I eat. _

_Allen: Aww, that why you have-_

_Lavi: NICE SHINNY WHITE TEETH (like the earl..) _

_Me: WHAT? _

_Lavi: Nothing…^_^_

_Me: (holding temples) Okay, what do you want? _

_Lavi: YOU! YU! _

_Allen: To invite you to my birthday! _

_Me: …no way _

_Allen: Oh come on! It's my first birthday after starting at the exorcist headcounters. _

_Me: Don't care (turning to my door) and don't bother me again. _

_Allen: But—_

_Lavi: Oh well, it's okay Allen all the good soba, I guess I'll eat it. _

_Me: (stops) Damn! Fine. I'll be there, but don't expect me to get you anything, except for a punch in face, wait, that would only make you smaller. _

_Allen: Oh Kanda_

_Lavi: I know, let's call him KANDY!!!! _

_**The following details were not written due to extreme violence** _

So that's my first day so…yeah, too much anger there. And my sword has blood on it. …NO I don't cut myself, its Lavi's, jeez. How dare he call me….call me…KANDY!!!! Grrr, unti8l tomorrow, bye.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 16th, 1809

5:00pm

Hey journal (again),

Well, I can't believe I'm writing in this thing right now. Wait…yeah there's about 400 pages in this thing. I don't know how I'm going to fill them all. What you say? DRAW?! What do you take me for? I'm not an artist or a writer or all those Englishy people. Wait a minute; I have to go talk to Komui, which I must admit, annoys the crap out of me.

Hello! KANDA! Oh right, I heard from Lavi and Allen that you like Kandy? (L) That's so cute…I never knew you had a soft side ^_^. Yeah, you might guess, this is LENALEE! And I am awesome…well not really, but I try! I have to work harder, way harder. ^_^ Oh and don't forget to get Allen a present, his birthday is coming up! The 25th of December! I'm so excited! Allen's the best! He's so determined and he tries really hard. Hey this **Diary** you keep is pretty cool, I mean I wouldn't expect you to get something this girly, I mean…it has a fat, but cute pink bunny on the front that says 'YOU CAN DO IT!" I don't know if you needed inspiration or anything, but YOU CAN! (I'll support you too^_-) Hmm…reading you last diary, wow you really are a stalker-like person. Do you still remember the conversation we had together? And you made some grammatical errors. Also in this entry, "Englishy," is not a real word, sorry, I know you like it, but it's English. Get it right and I don't CARE if you're Japanese. Well…uh oh…

5:42pm

Lenalee…WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRITING IN MY **JOURNAL!!!! **Jeez, it's a journal, not a diary, it's a journal and for your information, it is really manly, so get your facts straight. And…it's not a bunny; it's an obese…ferocious bear. GET IT RIGHT! Okay. I'm okay. Yeah so Komui…about him…I HATE THAT GUY AS MUCH AS I HATE BEAN SPROUT!!!!! Oh and he's probably in hospital right now ^_^. He asked me my opinion for Bean sprout's gift and then he wanted to know what I was getting him. I. Can't. Take. This. Much. More. Hmm, but that author lady is okay, journals do help me clear my mind a bit.

Right now, it's dark outside, (the sun sets early) and it's a bit cool. It's almost dinnertime as well, but I'll keep talking for a bit. Today was a normal day, it started out with my morning exercises, and then I ate soba for breakfast, then brushed my teeth, and then got into a razor fight with Lavi. (I didn't know he shaved). And just so you know I was shaving my face like a man…No not my eyebrow you weirdo, the beard stuff, not that I ever had a beard, cause I shave everyday. What? What kind of questions do you keep blurting out at me? Why in the world would I shave my legs?! NO! I don't find that attractive! WHAT an INSULT! I would cut you, but that would only result in a damaged dia—I mean journal. Whatever, I don't have the time to waste. Then I practiced fighting and then I ate soba for lunch (brushing my teeth after). After that I went to the library, with another comrade, and we read a bit. Some peace and quiet. And what do you know? I just had to run into bean sprout and Lavi…the two people I wanted to stay away from. Hmm…I have 10 minutes. I'll inform you a bit.

Lavi: Hey my future wife, how's it going man! (Pats my back)

_Me: Didn't we go over this before?! And don't touch me! _

_Lavi: We did? _

_Allen: I don't think he likes that…_

_Me: Good job bean sprout. (Rubbing my back)_

_Allen: Hey! I'm only three inches shorter than you! _

_Me: Yeah, and you'll never be any taller! _

_Allen: Will too, I drink milk everyday. _

_Me: Doesn't seem to be helping_

_Allen: (Mutters) At least I don't write in a diary _

_Me: SAY WHAT? _

_Lavi: It's his girlfriend Allen, remember? _

_Me: I'll seriously cut you. _

_Lavi: You already have, you tore out my heart! But…"I will survive, I will survive, I won't just crumple out and die!" _

_Me and bean sprout: You can't sing! _

_Librarian: Shut up please this is a library! _

_All: This is your entire fault! _

_Librarian: Please go somewhere else like, outside or something. _

_Me: My fault? How's it my fault? I was going well since you came! _

_Lavi: Hmm…well…: 3 it wasn't me! Cause everyone loves RABI LAVI!!! _

_Me: Except me! _

_Lavi: WHAA!! Allen, he's angry! _

_Allen: I know… _

_Me: Whatever, wait, why are you here? _

_Both: …_

_Me: WHY?! _

_Both: …uh…_

_Lavi: Do we say anything? _

_Allen: No, Lenalee will kill us. _

_Me: What? What's happening? _

_Allen: Well, I dunno, I'm too short to hear anything_

_Lavi: Yeah he-_

_Me: (grabbing Lavi's jacket with one hand and my sword with the other) now, you're going to tell me, or you won't have a head for dinner. _

_Lavi: EEP! Allen I'm telling this guy, I can see the malice dancing in his eyes!_

_Allen: …Malice dances? _

_Lavi: I'm not sure, the earl does and well, he's pretty close to it. _

_Allen: Fine, just as long you take the blame. _

_Me: …_

_Lavi: (in a feverish type of way) Well, I was…uh-well Komui wanted to investigate, well he wanted to make a book about…famous exorcists. And well he needed background info. _

_Allen: We're just trying to keep you occupied, (glances at the clock) and they should be done by now. _

_Lavi: Yeah and so he went to your room, cause he uh…duplicated your key somehow and stripped your room bare and everything is in the lab. And so…_

_Allen: So Lenalee didn't want you to be upset…_

_Lavi: So she is decorating your room right now! ^_^ _

_Me: What. What. The. Heck?_

_Both: A ha ha! _

_I march out and run towards my room and see Lenalee leaving it. _

Lenalee: Oh hey Kanda! I didn't expect you to be here.

_Me: What did you do? _

_Lenalee smiles sweetly, I fixed your room so it wouldn't be a disater and Lavi helped me decide the theme. _

_Me: THEME? _

_Lavi: Oh yeah! _

_Allen: Oh boy…_

Opening the door I see…my room in total pink lace with puppies and kittens running around.

Me: You guys are so dead in a minute.

Censored due to animal cruelty and violence

_ALL: HOW COULD YOU HURT THOSE PUPPIES AND KITTENS YOU LOSER!! _

_Me: Your fault, now get out, I have to get this pink crap off. _

_Lenalee: But didn't you like it? _

_Me: No_

_Lavi: Not even a little? _

_Me: (glares) No_

_Allen: I don't think he liked it. _

Just then Kanda's teacher, General Tiedoll comes in.

Tiedoll: Kanda! I'm so proud of you! I love your artistic sense! Yes! Now you've come to your senses and have realized pink can suit you too!

_Me: Oh my…_

_Tiedoll: I love you my son! (Arms open for a hug) _

_Me: DIE! GET OUT ALL OF YOU!!!! _

Yeah, so that's my afternoon. I've been in here, cleaning up all day and getting my stuff from the science lab, thank goodness they didn't find this. Well, time for dinner, enjoy and I'll be back tomorrow. (It's going to be a long night).


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 19th, 1809

5:08pm

Hi,

It's Kanda again…Joys…Yeah I'm writing again. _ This is my smiley face…I kind of like it. You've probably noticed, that I haven't written in two days, sorry about that readers. Things got a little, preoccupied. But, no worries, I'll tell you everything, cause I know you guys want to know all about me!

So the 17th, finally, I had gotten my room back to normal. The pink ribbons and backgrounds managed to get off, but it really was a challenge. Not to mention all the yelling I had to do to my master, (how many times do I have to tell him I'm **not** his son?), Komui, Lenalee (though it's kind of hard, with her…I dunno…attitude), Lavi (for not telling me sooner) and bean sprout (cause I hate him ^_^). And that was the whole morning of the 17th. Despite all that hard work, things began to look up towards the afternoon. After eating soba, I was assigned my next mission, to track down one of the Noah, and somehow either A) torture him until important information about the Earl is released, or B) knock him out and bring him to headquarters, personally I like A, but I'm afraid I might kill him first. Oh well…I'll do my best. The bad news about this, came afterwards when Komui closed his eyes, smiled and said, "_Oh, Kanda, by the way, Allen has been assigned to come with you."_ Good thing his eyes were closed because he didn't see the punch I gave him. Yes, so now I'm assigned with bean sprout, that's just great. We were assigned to leave on the 18th, the next day. So I was too busy getting ready, to be writing in my dia—journal. Sorry.

On the 18th, we had to get up early, 4:00am to be precise. It was a long mission and the Noah could be anywhere in the world. However, we were going to start in Japan and then work into China and surrounding areas. We were ready to leave a 5:45am and must I remind you how annoying it is with bean sprout? Just keep reading to get what I mean.

_Allen: Hey Kanda, where are we going? _

_Me: …Don't you have ears, you stupid plant? We're going to find the Noah. _

_Allen: I'm not short! But thanks. (Some silence) Hey Kanda, how are we going to know which people are Noah people? _

_Me: …We've met some maybe? _

_Allen: But, what if we run into a person who might be the Noah, but we've never met? _

_Me: Stupid Bean, then we do what were assigned to it, duh! _

_Allen: But what if it was an old lady, who looked like a Noah and then we attack it, but it turned out it wasn't the Noah and then she sustains big injury and then sues the Black Order cause we followed your stupid rules? _

_Me: (stop running) say what? _

_Allen: Nothing (innocent look) _

_Me: Listen, I don't care what Komui says, that you're the 14__th__ or related to the 14__th__ or whatever, but if you start getting on my nerves, you're going to be so short, no one will even notice you. _

_Allen: That's mean! We should be friends! Partners more like! What do you say? _

_Me: (running again) keep running. _

_Allen: All right, but I would like it if you would consider to be my friend. _

_Me: You're an acquaintance, everyone is. _

_Allen: Fine. (Silence) Are you tired? _

_Me: …_

_Allen: Hey I saw a restaurant, maybe we should stop and take I bite to eat? _

_Me: …_

_Allen: They sell soba…_

_Me: (stopping), No way, if you think that is going to lure me, then you've got the wrong idea, (looks at the restaurant sign which reads "__Suki mmm, Japan's finest Soba"__) Fine. But not for long. _

_Allen: YEAH!! _

We walk inside and see…to my greatest surprise, Lavi and Lenalee were there

_Me: What are you guys doing here? _

_Lavi: I have a close connection with you that cannot be broken. _

_Me: (after punching him) Okay, reason? Are you on a mission? _

_Lenalee: No, but we're bored, we wanted to come too! _

_Me: Uh, huh. I thought you said you were going to help Miranda with her innocence training. _

_Lenalee: Yeah, but…I am. _

_Me: Oh really and please explain to me how you're doing that when you're in a SOBA RESTAURANT!!!! _

_Lenalee: (giggles) Kanda, you're so…tense. _

_Me: Get out. _

_Lenalee: But-_

_Lavi: I haven't finished my Soba yet, (pointing to his bowl) _

_Me: I'll eat it. And you, you were doing some research with Krory?! _

_Lavi: Uh, yeah? But I am too? _

_Me: I don't get you people! _

_Allen: Hi, can I order a large bowl of Tororo soba? (Talking to waitress, but Kanda doesn't realize it) _

_Me: Heck no, do I look like a-(Turns around) Oh…sorry. _

_Waitress: I'll get it as soon as I can. _

_Allen: Gee, thanks! Wow, Kanda you sure know how to embarrass yourself, you must do it regularly. _

_Me: Shut up bean sprout. _

Just then Miranda comes out of the washroom.

Miranda: Oh hi Allen, Kanda. Sorry Lenalee, but I don't think soba's my sort of food.

_Lenalee: That's okay. I mean lots of people can't stand it. But then there's sometimes an odd one that eats it everyday. _

_Me: Hey! _

_Lavi: Don't worry Kandy, I love it too!! (Jumps out for a hug) _

_Me: Gah. (Lifts sword and smacks him) _

_Lavi: Wha! Lenalee, I want a divorce. _

_Lenalee: Do I look like a lawyer? _

Krory then comes out of the men's washroom

Krory: Sorry Lavi, I needed a supply of blood to keep up my energy.

_Lavi: no problem, that's why I packed extra, _

_Me: Why did you even bother to pack? You're going back right now! _

_Lavi: NO! I don't want to leave you! _

_Me: EVERYONE GET OUT!!! _

Suddenly the manager comes in with a puzzled face

Manager: Excuse me young girl.

_Lavi: Oh, that's Kandy, and he's a man. _

_Manager: Sorry, sir, but could you please go outside; you're causing a disturbance in my restaurant. _

_Me: Me. Causing. A. Disturbance? _

_Manager: uh…yes, sorry sir. _

_Me: Why you—_

_Lavi: Let's go Kandy 3 (pulls him out, along with the bowl of soba) Hey Allen buddy, can you pay for me? _

_Allen: (mouth stuffed) yeah. _

Outside

_Me: Let go, I'm so going to kill you right now!! _

_Lavi: (holding out hammer) Okay, if you want to. It could be an exercise class; I heard couples go to those. _

_Me: AND HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU!! DIE!!! _

_Lavi: Time to rumble! _

At the time, I didn't know that I was being watched, by something far more powerful than what I could handle. It was defiantly something related to the earl and Noah. Whatever it was, I didn't see it and the reason for that could be that I let my guard down, something that one who fights for the Black Order must never do. I know this, because I was hit from behind and then I fell and lay to wait in darkness. However, I'm writing this now, because me, along with my other five acquaintances were caught and then stuffed into this prison-like cell. We have been in here since yesterday, with not food, or water (however Krory, had blood) or no human contact whatsoever. We have heard no noises and right now, we concentrate of preserving our energy until we really need it—until the thing returns again. We have no sense of the time, however, though I regret saying this, thanks to Allen's watch, we have a vague idea. This is how it's been. There's no light, except a flicker from a candle outside out cell. The stale air hovers under out noses. It's damp and cold against the cement stone and no sound can be heard. All is quiet. Whenever one of us speaks, there is a huge echo, not to mention we don't know if someone is listening to us, so we speak little. It's been like this for a whole day and I don't know how much we can last. Miranda is especially weak. All I know is that I write to keep my sanity, I write to know that time is continuing and I write so the events to happen with hopefully be recorded and other may see our journey.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 20th, 1809

6:28pm

It's me,

Kanda again. It's been an extraordinary day. We, meaning Lenalee, Krory, Lavi, Miranda and Bean Sprout awoke early in the morning and were in some sort of forest. It was really weird. Neither of us had any recollection of being moved or transported here. It's was like…we were always here. It's just too weird to explain. Hmm…well, I'm not going to dwell on those depressing thoughts, I have more pressing matters to look into, such as my mission to complete for example. Bean Sprout's been bugging me since that encounter as well as the rest of them. I wanted to continue the mission, however everyone else wanted to go back to headquarters to explain what had occurred. I ended up agreeing, however it was reluctantly.

Right now, we're back at headquarters. T_T (this face describes my inside thoughts)

So I ended up having to explain, seeing that Miranda and Krory needed medical attention, Lenalee didn't want to explain, and Lavi and Bean Sprout were hungry and wanted to go eat. Hey! I was hungry too, so why is it always me that has to do these things? I think I'm getting too soft. And so, I had to talk to Komui for a full half an hour. It wasn't the best thing I've done in my life, I'll tell you that.

Komui: So…from what I gather, you're telling me, you were in front of a Soba restaurant, fighting with Lavi, kidnapped, forced to remain in a bared prison for a day and a little, and then you just magically woke up and found yourselves in a forest, correct?

_Me: I would assume so, it's just you make it sound like…I imagined it. _

_Komui: I know perfectly that you did not imagine it…I have already talked to my lovely Lenalee and she told me the exact same thing. _

_Me: She did? _

_Komui: Yes, and I've figured it out! _

_Me: Figured it out? _

_Komui: Yep! I'm so proud of myself! _

_Me…Care to tell me? _

_Komui: Oh right! Well, you guys went to eat Soba right? _

_Me: Correct…your point? _

_Komui: Well, the soba restaurant obviously drugged your foods to make you have illusions of stuff. _

_Me: …but, i…even if that was true, wouldn't we all have separate dreams? _

_Komui: Illusions and no, not necessarily. _

_Me: Well, I believe I was caught and besides…I don't even remember eating soba! _

_Komui: Fine. But I like my idea. _

_Me: Well I don't _

_Komui: or maybe you're a regular druggie! _

_Me: Accusation wrong. Temptation to kill you, very strong. _

_Komui: Gah! _

_Me: I hope you're ready because you wasted enough of my time! _

Censored

Yeah, so that was pretty much my day. I got into a lot of trouble and ended up being Komui's lap dog for the remainder of the day. Fetching him this and organizing that. I'm going to get my revenge!!! :( …I think that's how you do an angry face. So…wait…darn, I have to go, Komui is calling to me…just a second.

-_- he wanted me to try is new chemical potion. Like I would do that. Well, I have to go and practice, I didn't have time to train today, since with…that…a hem incident.

-KANDA.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 24th, 1809

4:30pm

Well I'm here again,

Sorry I haven't written in the last three days, there really hasn't been much happening that would be really interesting to my faithful readers. And plus, I was a bit lazy and didn't want to write. A lot has been happening, I mean, nothing interesting, but it's been busy. Christmas as you all are aware of is approaching, actually it's tomorrow, what a drag. Christmas is just another day were I have to spend money uselessly and then give lots of cards and presents and smile and…waste my quiet time. Not to mention just Christmas, but this year I have another pain in my back. Bean Sprouts birthday is on the 25th as well. Great. Oh well, it can't be that bad.

Oh wait…yes it can.

Crap.

I DIDN'T GET HIM A BIRTHDAY PRESENT!!!!!

Great, now what am I going to do? What's that you ask? Why do I even care on giving him a present? Well, my dear listeners, the answer may appear quite clear when you have all the details. You see, yesterday, I had a, ahem, conversation with Lavi, and it went something along these lines…

_Lavi: Hey Kandy, how's things going? _

_Me: It should be 'how are things going' Lavi, jeez, and I thought I was bad at English. _

_Lavi: Nah, I'm just too lazy to speak. _

_Me: (glares) are you making fun of me?! _

_Lavi: Oh Kandy, why would I ever do that to you? You know, you need a hug, to release al the pain you've been going through. _

_Me: Paws off mutt. _

_Lavi: Eep!! Scary Kandy. Hey Kandy, can I ask you a question? _

_Me: I don't see why not. _

_Lavi: Why don't you get angry anymore when I call you Kandy? _

_Me: Because fool, because of you, everyone is calling me that stupid name and no matter what I do, they still call me that! You're lucky I didn't take off your head!! _

_Lavi: Ahah, well, look on the bright side, things could be a lot worse! _

_Me: Worse? Did you just say worse!? Things cannot get worse than this! Everyone is calling me Kandy, Komui thinks I'm high from eating too much soba and then I just failed a mission, because you and everyone else were there! It's all your faults!!! Just don't talk to me! And you think things can get worse!? Just leave me alone! _

_Lavi: Hey Kandy…uh…what did you get Allen for his birthday? _

_Me: You just didn't say that. _

_Lavi: Yeah, so did. Its in two days dude, you better get him something._

_Me: I'm just attending because he's having soba there. _

_Lavi: Yeah I know, but you see. Me, Lenalee, Komui and some other people, thinks it's better if you get him something he'll like. Like a present. _

_Me: Listen you! I had to buy him a Christmas present; don't you think that's painful enough? _

_Lavi: Yeah sure…but you see, we sort of made a deal…_

_Me: I'm listening. This better be worth my time. _

_Lavi: The deal was if you got something Allen wanted for this birthday, we would stop calling you Kandy, and assign you a top-secret mission. As well as erase that fact you were high on soba. But that's only if Allen approves of your gift. _

_Me: So what, you guys already call me all that stuff anyway!! _

_Lavi: But if you don't, Komui will make you his lap dog for a month as well as possibly being an experiment tester, Lenalee will hire a girls magazine company so you can pose on the top ladies fashions, and I, oh I don't know what I will do, but it will be something you won't forget. _

_Me: …are you threatening me? _

_Lavi: You could call it that buddy. _

_Me: Hey wait, where are you going? _

_Lavi: Well, we, not including you, have to prepare for Allen's birthday. Have fun picking a present. _

_Me: But-_

_(Lavi leaves while whistling) _

Dang! I forgot all about that! Why is life so cruel to me? Why did I want to become an exorcist in the beginning anyway? Oh wait, I didn't chose, it was chosen for me…sighs…I don't even like that Bean Sprout kid!! Why do I care if he likes my present or not? And maybe he'll pretend not to like it just to see me suffer! Think Kanda, think nice and calmly. What would that Bean like…tall boots possibly? IT would make his life a lot easier, but then I wouldn't be able to call him Bean sprout anymore…Well, who cares, I'll think of a new name…yeah…I'll get him high boots. _ Why couldn't I be that confused face in the picture instead of real life? Oh fine, I'll get him boots, actually looking outside, it is kind of snowy. The weather outside is really bad. So I just it wouldn't hurt him. And maybe I'll get him some mittens of earmuffs. Yeah. Settled, and he better like it. Wait…maybe I'll do that too, just in case…

5:00pm

Okay, I'm back. So I decided to send an anonymous letter to Bean Sprout. I think it's the best idea I've had in a while!

Hey Allen,

This is a mad stalker asking for you to cooperate. I know about your master and I can kill him. However if you chose to cooperate with me, I will have his life spared. Tomorrow is your birthday and attending your birthday will be the almighty exorcist Kanda Yu. Your reaction to his present will be the factor that determines your masters life. You must be pleased with the present, no matter what it is for your masters' life to be spared. May I also remind you that your master has many secrets to share with you and that it really would be a shame if you let his knowledge go to waste.

Trusting that you will cooperate tomorrow,

The unmarked.

Okay…so I know the last part sounds cheesy but other than that, I'm actually a bit proud of myself. ^_^ I deserve this happy face. Okay. So It's all settled for tomorrow. The birthday should be successful and my pride will be spared. I better go and mediate…you never know what will happen.

-KANDA


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 25th, 1809

9:30 pm

I remember why I don't like birthdays,

Because in one way or another they make me feel worse than I did when I arrived. Especially Bean sprout's birthday. It's been a long day…and I mean really long. Christmas at headquarters lasted probably four hours in the morning then the rest of the day was Bean sprout's celebration day. -_-. Just my luck, really. So…let me tell you my life's future…

_Lavi: Hey Kandy, you finally came! We were worried there for a start! _

_Allen: Huh? Oh Kanda hi. _

_Me: What's with the disappointment in that voice Bean sprout? _

_Allen: It's Allen; can't you at least call me that on my birthday? _

_Me: Not a chance. _

_Allen: Whatever, I got a threatening letter last night and…well I don't know what to do. _

_Lavi: Don't worry Allen; we'll have the person responsible pay! _

_Lenalee: Yeah Allen, he should be tortured greatly! _

_Lavi: And beaten! _

_Krory: And have the blood be sucked out of them…_

_Komui: And be used for my experiments! _

_Me: Hey guys...is that really necessary? _

_All: Yeah, they deserve punishment!!! _

_Me: Right…_

_Lavi: Is that a present Kandy? _

_Me: Good job retard. _

_Lavi: WHA!!!_

_Lenalee: Why so cold Kanda? _

_Me: No reason…here. _

_Allen: Thanks…can I open it? _

_Me: No, you can look at it all year and then open it! _

_Allen: Whoa…okay…wow…it's…_

_Lavi: I wanna know! _

_Lenalee: Me Too! _

_Komui: Now children wait and be patient…I WANNA KNOW TOO!! _

_Me: Calm down, it's a gift. _

_Allen: Boots? _

_Lavi: Sexy much_

_Allen: But…aren't they women's? _

_Lenalee: Yeah, I used to buy those kinds. _

_Me: What? But I talked to the sale person and she said it was unisex. _

_Allen: And mittens…_

_Lenalee: Aww...there're pink with puppies and says "best friends". _

_Me: Well, do you like it? _

_Allen: …_

_Lavi: Allen, why are you crying? You don't like them right? _

_Me: LAVI SHUT UP AND LET THE MAN TALK! _

_Allen: Kanda…it's the first time, you've acknowledged me, as your friend it's it's WONDERFUL!!! _

_Me: STOP HUGGING ME!!! _

_Allen: I Can't help it…my heart is bursting with happiness. _

_Me: ALLEN!!!  
Allen: You called me by my name too! _

_Lavi: Back off Allen, he's mine! _

_Lenalee: O, I just love happy days, Komui? Are you crying? _

_Komui: I just got something in my eyes. _

_Miranda: Hey guys, the cake's ready! _

_All: YEAH!! _

_Me: Where does their energy come from? _

The party lasted so long…and many painful memories were formed there.

_Lavi: Hey guys let's play pin the tail on the Akuma! _

_Lenalee: Sounds good! _

_Allen: Okay! _

_Me: That sounds retarded. _

_Lavi: Shall it be pin the tail on the Noah? _

_Allen: Lavi, you're so silly. _

_Lavi: Kandy can be the Noah. _

_Me: What the heck, no way! _

_Lavi: Yes way! _

_Me: No!_

_Lavi: (whispers) you know, you're so lucky Allen likes your present! _

_Me: Get off me! I'm going home. _

_Komui: If you do, the deal is off. _

_Allen: What deal? _

_Me: Uh nothing! Nothing! _

_Lenalee: Okay, maybe we should play something else. _

_Lavi: I know, Shirades! _

_Me: What's that? _

_Lavi: What are you a jungle man? Shirades is the best game ever! _

_Me: Then how come I've never heard of it? _

_Allen: Because you've had a sheltered childhood. _

_Me: DANG YOU BEAN SPROUT!!! _

_Lavi: Strike one. _

_Me: Huh? _

_Lavi: Oh Kandy, don't you know the rules, 3 strikes and you're out, or in this case in for fashion apparels (magazine). _

_Me: Oh crap. Fine I'll play, but how? _

_Lenalee: Well we write something on the paper and when someone gets it out, you have to act it, without using words. _

_Me: …_

_Lavi: Let's start! _

I don't even know why I do things sometimes…

_Miranda: A duck! _

_Lenalee: Good job Miranda! _

_Miranda: Thanks, good acting Lenalee. _

_Krory: These are hard…_

_Lavi: You'll get used to it. _

_Krory: Yes, I think so. _

_Miranda: Okay here I go! _

_Me: Obviously a fish. (Like in sushi!) _

_Miranda: Whoa, that was quick._

_Komui: Could it be Kandy is really good at these types of games. _

_Lavi: Yeah, cause he plays them in secret with Mr. Mirror. _

_Me: (Calm down Kanda!) Okay, I go? _

I walked over and pulled out a piece of paper. I pulled out sumo wrestler. Oh Lord…why me?

_Me: Okay question. What do you do when you can't act them out? _

_Lenalee: Why not? I mean we all wrote something you can act out? Why are you laughing Lavi?  
Lavi: Nothing…Oh Kandy, if you can't/won't act it out, its 2 strikes. _

_Me: …OH no! Okay…_

_Allen: Is something wrong Kanda? It can't be that bad! _

_Komui: Yeah let's see some acting. _

_Me: Well…uh…_

_Lavi: Show those abs (sumo wrestler). _

_All: What? _

_Lavi: Nothing_

_Me: IT WAS YOU!!!! _

_Lavi: What ever are you talking about my darling? _

_Me: I'M SO GONNA KILL YOU WHEN THIS IS OVER!!! _

_Lavi: Such harsh words…too bad you couldn't use them to help you act out what you're trying to act out. _

_Me: GRRRR…_

Five minutes later

_Lenalee: Uh…Kanda what are you doing? _

_Allen: Ahhh…my eyes! _

_Komui: Lenalee, you shouldn't be watching this!! _

_Krory: I think I need a refill of blood supply _

_Miranda: I can't watch. _ _

_Lavi: Camera time! _

_Me: (WHY!!!???) _

_Lavi: Hmm…a sumo wrestler? _

_Me: Thank God. _

_Allen: Oh that's why you were doing those things with yourself…_

_Lenalee: That sounds so wrong…_

_Allen: Opps sorry. _

_Me: I'm going to my room and that's final. _

_Lavi: Okay, we've worn you out enough. _

_Komui: Thanks for the visual. _

_Lavi: I'll have the pictures ready by tomorrow._

_Me: (glares) _

_All: Now let's eat! _

I now refuse to do birthdays now.

It was a long day and it scared me forever…I think I need to go to bed, the pages are getting wet from my tears.

-KANDA


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 26th, 1809

4:50 pm

Well, like yesterday…

Life hates me. I try to be nice and bad things happen, I try to be evil and bad things happen. Why do these things happen to me? And why do I feel like almost everyone in the Black Order is, in some way trying to make me do things, but using blackmail. :P Well…maybe I should use blackmail too! Yeah! That's a good idea…wait…but wait whom would I blackmail? And…I'm not good at blackmail. -_- Tears, I'm such a loser. T_T

Well, today…I'm was pretty much the laughing stock of the order. Lavi, like he promised took pictures of me playing shirades and…I'll tell you one thing…they we're pretty. More like embarrassing! Could you imagine the shock I had when I went downstairs for some soba and then a whole group looking at the postings…geez, I don't know how much more my nerves can take.

Lavi: Yeah I know, really when you get to know the guy, he can be really gentle. I think that's why deep down, I found an attraction. I knew that he was my soul mate and that it was destined that we would remain together throughout eternity…together.

_Lenalee: Awww…Kandy said that? It's so cute! I can't believe he's that type of guy. _

_Lavi: Mean either. He really is gentle. _

_Me: I hope you guys aren't talking about me now, are you? (Menacing voice). _

_Lenalee: Ahh…Kanda…good morning. _

_Me: MOVE! Get out of my way, jeez, why are you guys huddled over this wall anyway? _

_Lavi: I made you a celebrity. _

_Me: What. Did. You. Do? LAVI!!!! _

_Lavi: Well, I thought the pictures make you look thinner see? _

_Me: (grabbing him by the collar) Let's go outside now. _

_Lavi: Or…we could go to your room. (In a seductive way…) _

Some time later… Lavi: Lenalee! Kanda hurt me! I can't even feel my limbs…

_Lenalee: Maybe cause they're not there…_

_Lavi: WHAT? _

_Lenalee: Joking, joking, but we should let you see medical attention, I heard some cracks, and I think that some bones are broken. _

_Lavi: Why would he do this to me…Kandy, my Kandy…_

_Lenalee: Well, maybe he doesn't like you anymore. _

_Lavi: How can you say that…oh well, maybe because I was cheating on him? _

_Lenalee: Gasp, you were? With whom? _

_Lavi: Well, you see, I couldn't resist Allen…_

_Allen: I hope you know what you're saying, or you might not live after I'm through with you. _

_Lavi: Allen! Don't tell me, you're cheating on Kandy! _

_Allen: What is your problem? Seriously, it's not even like that. Quit joking around, it's making people tense. _

_Lavi: All-_

_Allen: Just quit it. (Leaves) _

_Lenalee: Was…was he just upset? _

_Me: I never seen him like that, but at least he has common sense. You should really stop Lavi, and I mean really. Seriously, what's gotten into you lately? _

_Lenalee: Let's go get you some medical help. (Tries to help him up, but he won't move) Lavi?_

_Lavi: Leave me alone! (Gets up himself and walks away) _

_Lenalee: What's wrong with him? _

_Me: Who knows. (Turns to leave) _

_Lenalee: Oh wait, Kandy! _

_Me: Since last night, I'm Kanda again. _

_Lenalee: Oops, sorry it was just natural. Here. (Shoves something into my hands and runs off) _

_Me: What the…Dang, it's the photos. _

Actually, I have no idea what's wrong with Lavi lately. He seems to take jokes too far and doesn't seem to be focused as much. I think I might have to look into this matter privately and fast. I feel like something is wrong and that it isn't for the benefit of the Black Order. Could the Noah really be manipulating Lavi? That's my suspicion; technically, I don't know what to think. I just hope he gets back to normal. What? Yeah I guess so, I should write a get-well card and buy him something…great Christmas just left and I'm still buying presents…oh well. I'll just get him something cheap. What! Yeah that's fair, think of all the pain he's caused me and he doesn't even apologize! I'm just getting a present out of guilt, and plus…the dollar store has lots of great gift ideas! So don't make fun of me! :P (just for you). Better get started.

-KANDA


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

December 31st, 1809

11:30pm

Hello, (yawn) It's me (again),

Well who else really? Yes I know, you're going to tell me 'what haven't you written in (wait…1, 2, 3, 4, 5…) five days?' Well here's my answer, 'because you don't have to know every aspect of my life and it's not everyday that my life is interesting!' :P I know, you would have wanted more bad stuff to happen to me. I know, I know, it's funny when embarrassing things happen to a serious and awesome fighter like myself. o_O I know, that's a bit full of myself, but what do you expect?

Well another year is about to come and go. 1810 is about to come. It's late and I want to go to bed, but I can't, cause I have to go to this stupid countdown party. And just when I thought I had enough of parties. -_- Here we go again. However, it's not so bad, not like last time. I made it clear that there wouldn't be any shirades. Luckily, most people like Komui agreed with me…

Komui: thank you Kandy! My Lenalee's eyes will be spared!

_Me: KandA, Kand-A with an 'a' buddy, not 'Y'. _

_Komui: Y? _

_Me: Oh, don't get on my nerves too! _

_Komui: Aha…Oh Kanda…_

Well, that went okay….

Lavi: It's party time!!

_Lenalee: Mm…Miranda, this cake is awesome!_

_Miranda: Thanks. _

_Allen: So Kanda, do you have any New Years resolutions? _

_Lavi: Oh no, Allen bad question to ask! _

_Me: Yeah I have a few, first kill you, cause you're annoying, second get assigned a mission and three kill all those AKUMA!!! Mu HA HA HA! _

_Lavi: So Lenalee, what are we doing? _

_Me: ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME? _

_Lavi: OH I'm so sorry, my dear, You're getting jealous cause I'm giving my attention to Lenalee, don't worry! It'll come back to you in seconds. _

_Me: Why you! _

_Lavi: YU!!! _

_Me: SHUT UP! _

_Lavi: Oh Allen, Kandy's so mean to me. _

_Allen: Can you stop hugging me? _

_Lavi: WAHHH!! OH Lenalee…(reaching out to hug her) _

_Komui: Say something Lavi!? (Menacing glance) _

_Lavi: Nothing. _

_Lenalee: Well, I'm guessing you don't want to play shirades again…_

_Krory and Komui: NO! PLEASE! _

_Me: Thank goodness. _

_Lenalee: Hm…so should we…hmm…what should be do? _

_Lavi: Watch a scary movie! _

_Allen: But that's Halloween! _

_Lenalee: Let's go skating. _

_All: o_O (I have no idea how you spell that…) _

And so, we were going skating…why do I have a bad feeling about this?

Me: I didn't even know I had skates…

_Allen: Me either, it's amazing what you can find when you look around, huh? _

_Me: Yeah, I—wait a minute…if you're trying to talk to me bean sprout, it's not working. _

_Allen: I tried. _

_Lavi: Hey Kandy, Allen look a me, I'm going to do a triple axle! (Walking towards an ice rink) _

_Allen: Be careful…._

_Me: Please break something; it'll do us all a favour. _

_Lavi: I'll break your heart when you find out; I've been visiting Allen in secret. (slams into a tree) _

_Me: …Well, at least some of my prayers are being answered. _

_Lavi: Oww, why did this happen to me?! _

_Allen: Karma? _

_Lavi: Allen you're so mean to me. (Goes on rink, then Allen and then I go on. Lavi grabs my hands) Kanda, you'll be my skating partner. _

_Me: What—wait! _

_Lavi: And I'll throw you…go! _

_Me: I said WAIT!!! (Lands on a split position). _

_Komui and Lenalee: Wow Kanda, you're flexible! _

_Me: Owww…owww…my legs. Holy crap…_

_Allen: I did not just see that…_

_Lavi: Wow, you're great! _

_Me: I would cut you, but I can't move my legs! _

_Lavi: Aww…_

_Lenalee: Well, should we cancel? _

_Allen: Maybe we should go, it's cold outside…_

_Lavi: "baby it's cold outside…" _

_All: What the heck? _

We cancelled the skating, thanks to Lavi, while Allen and Komui carried me back…my legs… and then the worst came….

Lenalee: I finally found it, but now we can use it, since we're not skating!  
Allen: What?

_Lenalee: Karaoke! _

_Me: What's ow…that? _

_Lenalee: You don't know? _

_Lavi: Man, were you born under a rock in a poisonous sea where no living creature dares to go? _

_All: o_O _

_Allen: It's when you sing…_

_Krory: Yes, I remember it well…_

_Miranda: And you follow the words on the screen…_

_Lavi: You don't have to have perfect pitch! _

_Me: Why do I have a bad feeling about this? _

_Lavi: Me, Allen and Kandy will go first! _

_Lenalee: Okay what song? _

_Lavi: (whispers so only Lenalee can hear. She giggles and then plays the song…) Okay, you two just have to act out what I sing, okay? _

_Both: Yeah? _

_Lavi: "__He was a boy (Allen), she was a girl (Kandy) Can I make it anymore obvious"?_

_Me: What the heck kind of song is this? _

_Allen: At least I'm the boy…_

_Lavi: "He was a punk (Allen walks around kind of bulky) She did balle"t…COME ON KANDY DANCE GRACEFULLY! _

_Me: I'm trying, but my groins kind of hurts and this is a stupid song! _

_Lavi: Is not! "What more can I say! He wanted her" _

_Allen: Oh boy…_

_Lavi: "She'd never tell, secretly she wanted him as well"…_

_Me: Yeah, to kill more like! _

_Lavi: KANDY LET'S SEE SOME LOVE INTERACTION! _

_Me: WHAT THE HECK! NO WAY, YOU DO IT! _

_Lavi: Fine, but you have to sing…_

_Me: gulp…FINE! I'll do it! C'mon Allen! _

_Allen: gulp…Don't kill me kay? _

_Lavi: "But all of her friends stuck up there nose they had a problem with his baggy clothes"…_

_Allen: But I like my clothes…_

_Lavi: "He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy"_

_Me: Bye Allen…TIME TO DIE!! _

_Allen: AHHHH! _

_Lenalee: Kanda! Be nice and don't ruin the song! _

_Me: T_T _

_Lavi: "He wasn't good enough for her! She had a pretty face" (I know my Kandy does) _

_Me: LAVI!! _

_Lavi: "But her head was up in space, she needed to come back down to earth". _

_Me: …_

_Lavi: "Five years from now, she sits at home, feeding the baby she's all alone"_

_Me: WHAT!? HOW DO I ACT THAT OUT! _

_Lavi: Komui, be the baby. _

_Komui: No way! _

_Lavi: Lenalee  
Komui: NO NOT MY LENALEE!!! I'LL DO IT! _

_Me: Oh my… _

_Komui: I'll sit in your lap Kandy! _

_Me: On the sofa now (pulls out sword)_

_Lavi: "She turns on tv"_

_Me: What's tv? (Has nothing to do with the time period) _

_Lavi: Don't know, that's what the song says. "Guess who she sees, skater boy rockin' up MTV"_

_Me: MTV? Hmmm, which stands for…Mean Tiki…hmmm what would V stand for? _

_Lavi: "She calls up her friends, they already know, and they've all got tickets to see his show. She tags along and stands in the crowd"…_

_Komui: Am I there too? _

_Lenalee: No, now get back here! _

_Lavi: "Looks up at the man that she turned down." COME ON KANDY PASSION LOOK! _

_Me: I can't…my face feels scrunched up! _

_Allen: Eww…  
Lavi: "He was a skater boy, she said see ya later boy, he wasn't good enough for her, now he's a super star"_

_Me: WHY DOES BEAN SPROUT HAVE TO BE THE SUPER STAR?! _

_Allen: Cause I am…in real life too! _

_Lavi: "slamin' on his guitar"_

_Allen: I have no idea what to do…_

_Lavi: "Does your pretty face see what he's worth?" _

_Me: No! _

_Lavi: "Sorry girl but you missed out, well tuff luck that boys mine now" (walks over to Allen) _

_Allen: NO LAVI TOO CLOSE!! _

_Lavi: Oh Allen! _

_Me: Well at least it's not me…_

_Lavi: "We are more than just good friends, this is how the story ends" _

_Me: What, no murder?! _

_Lenalee: KANDY!!! _

_Me: What, and stop calling me that! _

_Lenalee: But it's cute! _

_Me: I don't wanna be cute! _

_Lavi: "Too bad that you couldn't see se that man that boy could be there is more that meets the eyes I see the soul is inside" _

_Me: What soul? _

_Allen: HEY! _

_Lavi: "He's just a boy, and I'm just a girl, can I make it anymore obvious? We are in love…"_

_Allen: What's with that look?! _

_Lavi: My passion look Allen…_

_Allen: I don't like it… (Nervously steps back) _

_Lavi: "Haven't you heard how we rock each others world!" _

_Allen: We do? _

_Lavi: Well you rock mine honey! _

_Allen: Oh boy, please throw a rock on my head and knock me out! _

_Me: I WILL DO IT! (lifts up boulder) _

_Allen: Figure of speech. (sighs) _

_Lavi: "I'm with the skater boy, I said see ya later boy" _

_Allen: Hey isn't Kanda the skater boy? Well, skater girl…(previously Lavi's Skating partner) _

_Me: BEAN SPROUT!!! That hurt my legs you know!_

_Lavi: "I'll be back stage after the show, I'll be at a studio, singing the song we wrote about the girl you used to know, which is Yu Kandy! _

_Me: I hate karaoke! _

_Lenalee: Ahww…don't say that! _

_Me: Time to go home… _

And so I left…that's it to the new year's eve celebration…hopefully I will get assigned a mission soon, so I can leave this messed up place…And what's MTV?

-KANDA

Please note: Song Lavi sung was by Avril Lavinge called Ska8ter boi. :P


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

January 6th, 1810

10:00am

Hello I'm here again…

Yes, I know you really want to throw daggers at me because I know I've been lazy. I haven't written in…six days, I know, I know. Well, I hate to say this, but sorry, and it's not like my life is so interesting…jeez. Thanks for reviewing…I actually got them and I'm glad you like the disaster happening in my life. Well I've got good news. As of yesterday, I'm on a solo mission to track down Tiki of the Noah. It's going to be really hard, but then, with an exorcist as great as me, I don't think that's be a huge problem…I hope. But, I guess I shouldn't have spoken too soon.

Climbing though the trees, I gripped my sword in case of a surprise attack that could happen any second. I hear rustling in the leaves…

Me: Who's there? Show yourself!

Voice: Oh, Kanda, you're so stupid it makes me sick somewhat. Trying to track me down. How stupid.

Me: Tiki? What are…(Tiki emerged from the bush)

Tiki: What's wrong? Didn't you suspect it from the beginning? I knew you would sooner or later.

Me: What are you talking about?

Tiki: Don't play dumb with me; you knew all along Kandy, that I was Lavi from the month of December and on wards.

I blinked and looked down, because I knew I was right. I knew it wasn't Lavi. Lavi wouldn't do that.

Me: So now what? Where's the real Lavi?

Tiki: Oh you know…in my care.

Me: Well get him out of your care!

Tiki: Ohh…could this be that you like Lavi?

Me: He's…an in idiot, he's somewhat annoying, but despite that, he's been there for me and for others when the time was bad. He's my friend and if you won't give him to me, I'll cut you down and get him myself!

Meanwhile, where Lavi is…

Lavi was tied on a chair and sat there grimly, watching the big TV screen-like system in front of him. Tears ran from his eyes.

Lavi: OH Yu! You're such a good friend!

Meanwhile…with Kanda…

Me: Okay…I thought I swore I heard my first name!

Tiki: I don't have time for this girlie, let's just finish this.

Me: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME GIRLIE YOU WIERDO!! GET SOME NORMAL CLOTHES FOR ONCE!

Tiki: So rude. Hasn't your mother ever told you, not to insult people?

Me: I could hardly consider you people.

Tiki: ohhh…you're just mean. I mean…I HAVE FEELINGS TOO!! WAHH!!!!!

Me: …is a Noah…in front of me, just crying? Oh my…what has the world come to!

Tiki: WAH!!! I KNEW IT! WHEN I WAS BORN MY MOTHER SAID I WOULDN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS AND NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY, I CAN'T MAKE ANY FRIENDS! I WANTED TO BE LAVI CAUSE HE HAD MANY FRIENDS AND I WAS PHYSICALLY ATTRACTED TO YOU! YOU HAVE SUCH BEAUTIFUL HAIR! WHAT DO YOU WASH IT WITH?

Me: …………………………………………o_O What happened?

Tiki: (Walks up to me) Your hair…it smells nice. I want…I want TO CUT IT OFF ALONG WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!

Me: Okay, talk about personality change…but fine, if you want to get cut, I would be happy to do it!

Tiki: Bring it on!

Amidst all this…

Lavi: YU! I'm free! I've come to save you!

Me: How did…

Lavi: Yu! Aren't you happy to see me?

Me: (glares) IDOIT WHAT'S THE POINT OF ME COMING TO SAVE YOU WHEN YOU CAN JUST SAVE YOURSELF!

Lavi: I just wanted to see if you were truly heartless! (Hugs)

Me: Get off! (Swings sword)

Lavi: YOU CUT ME! LOOK I'M BLEEDING!!! Is that any way to treat a friend?

Me: I told you not to hug me before, your own fault and also…that was payback from calling me Yu all the time.

Lavi: IT'S YOUR NAME IS IT NOT? WHY SHOULDN'T I CALL YOU IT?

Me: CAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT!

Lavi: BUT YOU LIKE CUTTING ME?

Me: I DID IT SO YOU'D GET OFF!

Lavi: I DON'T WANT TO BE EMO LIKE YOU!

Me: I'M NOT EMO! (stepping closer)

Lavi: AHHH!! YOU'RE GOING TO SUCK MY BLOOD! VAMPIRE! VAMPIRE!

Me: I'M SO GOING TO KILL YOU!

Tiki: I hate to be the one to interrupt, but I kinda want to kill you both right now.

Both: SHUT UP PLAYBOY/GAYO! LEAVE US ALONE! CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE HAVING A ONE TO ONE MAN ARGUMENT HERE OR ARE YOU A RETARD?!

Tiki: Sheesh! I just wanted to fight; you guys are a bunch of **girlies**

Both: (Eyes flash) LOOK IF YOU WANT TO CRITICIZE, GET SOME NORMAL CLOTHES FRIST!

Tiki: It's called proper elite dressing.

Me: Give me a break; you look like the pictures I have of my grandfather.

Lavi: You have a grandfather Yu?

Me: I told you to not call me Yu!

Lavi: Hey Yu listen to this, I made it up during the month of December

In a (rap like beat):

Yu's really cool

Though he doesn't go to school

He's kind of dumb

And I'm surprised he's not a bum

He likes to cut a lot of people see yo!

I think he's kind of emo

He eats carrots with cake

Or maybe it's fate

That makes him looks unsightly,

But hey Yu don't take it lightly

I wish he were my bro

But that's wishing rather low

But Yu I want you to know

I really like you so

Much more that Tiki here

Now let's go have a beer!

Tiki and Me: …O-o WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!!!

Lavi: My song about Yu. Hey Tiki I made you one too!

Tiki: I don't want to hear!

Lavi: My feelings are genuinely crushed. Thanks a lot guys. If a jump off a building, it's your entire fault.

Me: Please be my guest.

Tiki: I'm leaving. You guys aren't worth killing.

Me: What and insult! Get back here!

Lavi: (Jumps and hugs me) Yu let's go eat some Soba!

Me: Wait no Lavi! No! Tiki's getting away! Get off my mission!

Lavi: (hugs tightly) Ohh you need to relax a bit! Let's go! (Drags me)

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

An interesting week, looking forward to more. Until next time,

-KANDA

Please leave a review and thanks for reading! ^_-

-**Itachianimefan**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

January 7th, 1810

9:00am

Hi journal,

Wow, I just realized that I hardly write in this thing. T_T I'm sorry journal. Yeah, I said I'm sorry. Pretty amazing, I know. Well, whatever, I should write in this thing more. But, sometimes I feel kind of awkward writing in this thing. It feels like I have a depressed problem and I need to write out my thoughts to clear my mind. Well, I lied, part of that is true. I need to write to get rid of all my anger that everyone causes me. Like Lavi for example. He's got some nerve, I'll admit that. I can't believe I lost Tyki…he makes me so mad. However, he did treat me to awesome soba. It was so good; my mouth was watering before I entered the restaurant. Ahem! Sorry…I don't have whiteout to whiteout the last sentence. I don't even know why I wrote that! :P. So now…I'm in the middle of a forest, around a campfire…with Lavi. I know, just my luck. Well, let's see how this turns out…

Lavi: (sitting down) Hey Yu, aren't you scared to camp out here tonight?

_Me: (Annoyed and cleaning my blade from his blood earlier) No, fool what kind of exorcist are you? And don't say Yu again. _

_Lavi: (laughs innocently) Yeah, I know, I kind of…well I'm kind of bad. I've always been told that, you know? Always been told that I can never to this or that, or I'm never good, or I need to try harder. But you know what Yu, no matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough. Not like you. _

_Me: (WHY DO I FEEL SO GUILTY?!) No, you're really strong Lavi…er…believe it. I mean, we've been in tight spots before, and we'll be friends forever. So I'll help you get stronger. (I blushed, man that sounds so cheesy.) _

_Lavi: (Turns to face me, his eyes brimming with tears) Oh Yu, were you actually gay with the fake me who was actually Tyki when I was captured. _

_Me: (way to ruin the moment) Lavi…I'M NOT GAY YOU RETARD HOW MANY TIMES TO DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! I CAN'T BELIEVE I WENT OUT OF MY MISSION TO SAVE YOUR MISERABLE BUTT! I SHOULD HAVE JUST LET YOU FOR THE ALIENS TO ABDUCT YOU! I SO WANT TO CUT YOU RIGHT NOW (Doing this while circle beating him) _

_Lavi: oww…my back (in a higher voice) You're so cruel Yu! I hate you! NO WONDER YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS!!! _

_(…For some reason 'friends' echoed in the background while Lavi runs away, obviously crying). _

_Me: He's right…I don't have any…I'm…I'm…SUCH A LONER! Oh, sword you're my only friend and I fear you don't like me too. Well, I'll go get Lavi because knowing him, he-_

_Voice: HELP! _

_Me: What? Oh don't tell me I have to save someone. _

_Voice: HELP! PLEASE SOMEONE!!! _

_Me: Wait…that voice…it sounds familiar…_

_Voice: PLEASE HELP ME!_

_Me: That sounds like…LENALEE!? (Getting up and running through the trees) _

_Lenalee: Help someone! _

_Me: (sees Lenalee pinned to a tree) Lenalee? What on earth? _

_Lenalee: Kandy! Get me off; they said they were coming back! _

_Me: (pulling out my sword) Oh right, just give me a second, what are you doing here anyway? _

_Lenalee: (breathing heavily) I'm on a mission _

_Me: (Attempting to cut) this stuff is thick…_

_Lenalee: It's sucking my energy…_

_Me: Okay, Lenalee, just stay with me, c'mon stay awake. _

_Lenalee: I'm…trying._

_Lavi: HEY YU WHATCHA DOING? _

_Me: (irritated) what does it look like, saving Lenalee, get your butt here and help. _

_Lavi: But…I just saved her myself, see. _

_Me: (sees a second Lenalee) What? _

_Lenalee (on the tree) and Lenalee behind Lavi suddenly go into a state they pick up a sword, attached to their waist and swing it! _

_Lavi: YU WATCH OUT! (Leaps in the air and catches me) _

_Me: Fool I don't need you help. _

_Lavi: OH YU I'M SO SORRY FOR BEING SO MEAN TO YOU! PLEASE FORGIVE ME! _

_Me: (pats head) Fine, I forgive you; just…do one thing for me…_

_Lavi: ANYTHING YU! _

_Me: Can you stop crying, my clothes feel soaked. And…uh…when your tears dry on my clothing, it turns white cause of your salt. _

_Lavi: I'M SORRY YU! I CAN'T HELP IT YU I LOVE YOU AS A FRIEND! _

_Me: Uh…my clothes…I didn't bring a change of clothes… _

_Lavi: Yu, you know, if we live through this, I'm going to buy you a present… _

_Me: OH yeah (somewhat amused and surprised…no one buys me stuff) _

_Lavi: I saw this glowing fairy that flies in a toyshop and it reminded me of you. _

_Me: All right, put me down. _

_Lavi: Oh but Yu, you're not heavy; I could carry you so you could conserve your energy. That's what friends do, and then when I get tired, you can carry me. _

_Me: (eyes flash) _

_Lavi: Okay, but I think I'll put you down now. _

_Me: (raises sword) _

_Voice overhead: One Lenalee is a leech that sucks on the real one's life span. If you cut the fake, the real Lenalee will be saved, however if you cut the real one both will parish. The longer you dwell the more her life escapes her. She is also possessed so you can't tell. You have to kill her with one strike or else another leech will appear and feed on her life span. _

_Me: Great. Well, I'll try this one. _

_1__st__ Lenalee: No Kanda don't (her sword is hung down uselessly) _

_Me: (Hesitates) _

_1__st__ Lenalee: (slices his arm, but only slightly)._

_Me: I Can't tell which one is the fake one! _

_Lavi: (sipping tea and talking to the other Lenalee) really? That sounds so cool! _

_Me: HEY USELESS DO SOMETHING! _

_Lavi: I'M NOT USELESS AND I AM DOING SOMETHING, I'M DRINKING MY TEA THAT ALREADY COLD BECAUSE OF YOU! _

_Me: BECAUSE OF ME? _

_Lavi: YEAH! _

_Me: JUST MOVE! _

_Lavi: Just ignore the guy yelling Lenalee, he has issues. Now, I'm almost done this tea…it's good. Thanks for making it Lenalee. _

_Me: Wait…what? _

_Lavi: OH yeah, Lenalee (falls asleep the 2__nd__ Lenalee walks towards me) _

_Me: Great two against one, so unfair. (Lenalees' attack) Well, here goes nothing. (Cuts both, blood gushes out and both fall to the ground. Lavi stirs) _

_Lavi: HEY KANDY. DUDE I'M SO DRUNK. HIC. _

_Me: They weren't Lenaleee, both of them. First Lenalee is on a different mission and she wouldn't be that stupid. _

_Lavi: HIC. HEY KANDY, LOOK AT THIS I CAN MAKE A BUBBLE BY NY NOSE MUCUS. HIC. _

_Me: That's just nasty, now let's go (grabs him and flings him over my back) _

_Lavi: HIC. KANDY, YOU'R BUM SOFT. _

_Me: Don't you dare tou-_

_Lavi: SQUISHY SQUISHY, HIC SQUASHY SQAUSH!_

_Me: I'll cut you, as soon as we're out of here, I promise you that. _

_Lavi: HIC. HIC. _

As you can see, it's been one heck of a day. I need to get some sleep. Hopefully it will remove the pain I suffered (mentally of course)

-KANDA

Hey guys! Thanks for reading again. Please feel free to leave a review, long or short, good or bad. It makes Kanda happy and gives him motivation to write, especially painful memories such as the ones above (glances) crap. He's coming to cut me! Got to go! Until next time

_**Itachianimefan.**_

Please leave a review and thanks for reading! ^_-

-**Itachianimefan**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**

January 11th, 1810

9:00am

^_^ Hi journal.

I just realized, I should get a leather protection cover for this thing or something. The outside covers are getting pretty well, damage. Not to mention that I take it with me wherever I go (that does not include the washroom). No, I take it with me when I go on missions and sometimes it gets wet, which isn't too good for paper and stuff. I don't take science, but I'm smart enough to know that. (Glares) I can sense someone is laughing at me and you know what? That hurts my feelings. Sniff…sniff, now I'm going to cry and never write in this thing again and drown it in the…fishbowl? Well, despite what you say, I can't do that because my author lady would kill me, literally. Well last time I was sexually molested by Lavi, which was probably the worst experience that happened to me. It was very disturbing and…I even had a nightmare about that, but let's not get into that. Well, it's been…five days since I last wrote…what has happened since then…hmm…well we're still looking for Tyki. It's interesting because we're getting nowhere. Just imagine me and Lavi trekking through the woods, not the best image that comes to mind right? What do you mean it is?! Do you like Lavi torturing me?! (Glares) You just didn't say yes, did you? Hm…Well, I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Let's see what else happens to me…

Lavi: How much further Yu?!

Me: (with irritation) Keep walking, besides you need exercise.

Lavi: but my feet hurt! Can you carry me?

Me: HECK NO! Do you remember what happened last time I did that?

Lavi: Yeah (dreamy) but you know, your butt is really soft, is that where all you fat goes?

Me: (Angry) I'M NOT FAT!

Lavi: (yawns) Yeah yeah, just chubby. No big deal.

Me: Keep walking.

Lavi: But, I'm so tired man, have a heart.

Me: That's hard with you around.

Lavi: (tearing up again) WAH! You're so mean to me YU!

Me: Don't call me Yu!

Lavi: (falls on the ground) I'm going to sleep.

Me: Uh…

Lavi: (pretends to close his eyes).

Me: (Lying down) Fine, we'll take a rest, but only for a short time. We have to keep a move on, okay.

Lavi: (sleepily) we're in the middle of the wood, we'll be fine, and the trees will conceal us.

Me: Not our scent, dummy. (Lies down on the leaves)

Lavi: (after some silence) Hey Yu?

Me: What now? You want me to sing you bed time song?!  
Lavi: yeah, how did you know?

Me: No way, not go to sleep.

Lavi: WAHH!! YU I CAN'T SLEEP WITHOUT A SONG!

Me: (Cover ears) remind me to never have you as a companion on a mission

Lavi: SONG! NOW!

Me: NO!

Lavi: YES! NOW!

Me: Sing it yourself if you want to!

Lavi: How about we sing a song together?

Me: NO WAY IN I DON'T KNOW NOW GO TO SLEEP BEFORE I CUT YOU!

Lavi: (After 15 minutes of crying) Hey, YU

Me; WHAT?!

Lavi: Did you know you're sleeping on animal feces?

Me: HUH?

Lavi: Animal pooh!

Me: (gets up and sees the stain on my uniform) EW! This is so disgusting! Ew! It smells!

Lavi: I told you, no camping experience. (Closes eyes)

Me: Lavi if you knew about this then I'm so going to kill you.

Lavi: (snoring)

Me: Disgusting. (Runs to the lake)

After some time.

Lavi: Hey Yu, you clean now?

Me: Yeah. Thanks a lot.

Lavi: (stretches) I got a good sleep. (Approaches town) Hey we're in a town

Me: Huh? Oh yeah, great.

Lavi: let's go eat! (Drags him)

Me: Wait!

Lavi: Ohh, let's go here and here and here.

Me: Ow…my right arm is going to be longer than my left at the end of this.

Person: Excuse me; please come to this event, only $10.

Lavi: Ohhh…(reads) Dance party for couples, held by the honourable Tyki and Road. The honourable Noah's. Let's go Yu!

Me: Obviously!

Person: You have to go in couples (Recives money)

Me: what? Wait…

Lavi: Don't worry, we've got that covered. (evil grin)

Me: OH boy.

Sometime later…

(In a hotel room)

Me: How come I have to be the girl?

Lavi: Don't you want to find Tyki and Road?

Me: Yeah, but.

Lavi: Well, stop complaining. (Comes in from shopping, I decided to stay in the hotel room cause I hate shopping)

Me: What's in the bag, and you didn't answer my question.

Lavi: Oh stuff, costumes more like. First of all you have to be the girl because you have long hair already and you're shorter than me.

Me; but…but…

Lavi: No but's (pulls out a pink, long frilly dress) Here Yu for you!

Me: What do I do with it?

Lavi: Wear it duh! (Pulls out matching bonnet) It'll look good on you.

Me: NO WAY IN HELL! (Pulls out sword)

Lavi: (Blinks and then looks away)Fine, you'll just be a laughing stock in headquarters because you failed a mission.

Me: Grr…fine but this is last time I do stuff like this got it?!

Lavi: (smiles) yep! Wiat, I got you this hair lotion stuff. Lets got have a bath!

Me: NO!

Lavi: Come on you have to have shinny hair if you're a girl.

Me: NO MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!

Lavi: It will be more beautiful after wards (drags him in)

After 50 minutes of screaming cutting and yelling

Lavi: Oh Yu, you look so good! Just the bonnet, ah there!

Me: (looks in the mirror. I see myself in a long dress, my body, somewhat became slim to fit in it. The bonnet covers my shinny blonde hair which is curly). HEY WE AGREED ON SHINNY HAIR NOT CHANGING COLOUR!

Lavi: It suits the dress, (as he fixes his bowtie on his suit) besides we can't have the same hair colour or the Noah would recognize us. (His hair is dark green) Let's get ready to roll. Wait…

Me: Now what?

Lavi: Smile?

Me: What?

Lavi: (takes picture) for the album

Me: LAVI!!!

Well now time for the ball. Hopefully I don't get recognized and that it wasn't all for nothing. Wait...I don't know if this colour is PERMANENT!!! GAH! Well stay tuned to see how I did…

-KANDA

Hey guys! Thanks for reading again. Please feel free to leave a review, long or short, good or bad. It makes Kanda happy and gives him motivation to write, especially painful memories such as the ones above (glances) crap. He's coming to cut me! Got to go! Until next time

_**Itachianimefan.**_

Please leave a review and thanks for reading! ^_-

-**Itachianimefan**


	12. Chapter 12

**_Hey noble readers! Thanks for so many reviews! Kanda's probably crying with joy in his room. He's never been so popular. It makes him feel like he has so many friends…internet friends^_^. Hopefully he'll continue to amuse you with his daily life, which seems to go for the worse with him. Poor Kanda. T_T well, let's see what happens today. Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. _

January 14th, 1810

9:00am

Hello journal,

Well last night was sure something. It was an interesting party and far from fun. -_- Remind me to never do that again. I hate parties. Just to name a few: New Year's and birthdays. I don't know, whenever I go to them, something bad just happens and yes, as you can guess, something bad happened last night as well. Urgh, and now I have to tell you all about it. This is such an embarrassment. _ It's against my religion! Wait…do I even have a religion? Oh yes, well technically you could consider me a Shinto, but I'd rather you not, because I caused so many disgraces on myself, I would have committed suicide so many times now. (Yeah it's a Japanese thing). Urgh…that's so depressing…. So on with the party…

_The inner room of the party hall was decorated beyond belief. Tiny glowing lights were hung on the ceilings and all around. Candles were on the window and streamers were draped beautifully all over. The food and drinks were on ever separate table were six people, (three couples) could be seated. The white tablecloths were long so they touched the floor and there was a large dance floor. Quiet music filled the background as roughly 100 guests entered the room, finding a place to sit. And so my troubles begin. _

_Lavi: Hey Kesandra, let's sit here! _

_Me: Uh sure. Hey! What's with the weird name? _

_Lavi: We're in disguise and you're a girl, you have to change your name! Now…my name can be…uh…Leonard. _

_Me: Leonard? _

_Lavi: Yeah, pretty cool huh? _

_Me: Hardly. I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't even walk in these stupid high heel shoes. _

_Lavi: (looks down and see Kandy's feet reddening) and they're only one inch ones. I was going to buy you the three inch ones. _

_Me: Yeah, then I would have killed you. _

_Lavi: Let's sit here._

_Me: Fine. _

_Lavi: Ohhh…what's this? _

_Me: Uh alcohol by the looks of it…wait. (Sniff) Vodka more like. _

_Lavi: Want some? _

_Me: (raises an eyebrow) we're still on duty, remember? We're on a mission and drinking is out of a question besides (looks around) we're supposed to be on the lookout. _

_Lavi: HIC. This stuff is strong dear. _

_Me: YOU IDIOT! YOU JUST DIDN'T—_

_Lavi: Wow. HIC. My eyes are blurring. _

_Me: (yanks glass away) NO more for you, you alcoholic! _

_Lavi: NO! I didn't get to finish. HIC. _

_Road: Is there a problem? (Dressed in a light blue dress accompanied with a blue purse and blue nails) _

_Me: (overcome by shock) Nope. None at all. _

_Road: Great! (Spins) Hey can I sit here? _

_Me: uh…_

_Lavi: HIC. Sure thing. _

_Me: (Ice dagger glare) Nice job Lav—Leonard. _

_Road: I'm Road by the way! (Looks at us) Hey you guys look familiar! Have we met before! _

_Me: NO not at all! (Jeez, if she recognizes me now I'm so screwed). _

_Tyki: Road, what are you doing? _

_Road: Sit here Tyki! _

_Tyki (sighs): Fine. Hi I'm Tyki, nice to me you. (Holds out hand) _

_Me: (holds my hand out with great difficultly. Could I get fired for doing this?) Hi, I'm…Kesandra. Nice to meet you. _

_Tyki: Wow, you're a very pretty woman. _

_Me: __**Thanks. **__(With some annoyance, CAN'T HE TELL MAN FROM WOMAN?!)_

_Tyki: But you're kind of muscular. Do you work out a lot? _

_Lavi: No, she works on a farm, milking cows. So she's really strong. _

_Tyki: Really? That's so cool. And you are? _

_Lavi: I'm Leonard. But feel free to call me Leo. _

_Tyki: Nice to meet you. _

_Voice: Hello my children, I hope you're enjoying yourselves. _

_Road: EARL!!! _

_Me and Lavi: (mouths: WHAT THE HECK?! WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!) _

_Earl: Hope you don't mind if I take a seat. _

_Me: (my sword…it's under my dress, I can reach it and then I can take the earl down. But it would cause suspicion and Lavi's drunk so he can't fight. But the temptation to kill the earl…) No, not at all. (I have to resist). _

Lavi: (reaches out and holds my hand as if he can read my mind and then he leans over and kisses me) you shouldn't be so tense dear!

_Me: (Lavi, I'm going to kill you!): __**No problem. I'm just worried about the cows back at the farm. **_

_Lavi: I see, don't worry you'll be back home milking those cows before you know it. _

_Earl: Well it's time to dance. Off you go you beautiful children. We can put off taking the world for tomorrow. _

_Road: YEAH DAD! (hugs) _

_Lavi: I'm hungry. I'm staying here. _

_Road: No Leo! I want to dance with you, please! (Almost teary face) _

_Lavi: (blushes) Okay. _

_Road: Yeah! (Drags him to the dance floor) _

_Me: Great. _

_Tyki: Don't feel bad. I'll dance with you. _

_Me: No that's—_

_Tyki: It's okay; I don't mind dancing with a cutie like you. _

_Me: __**(not what I meant) **_

Tyki: Let's go (take my hand)

_Me: (why am I doing this?) _

_Earl: I'll be eating here children. Mmm…these are good. _

_Tyki: Dad, that's the plates. _

_Earl: Opps…sorry! _

_Tyki dances with me and then leads me to the balcony. He stops dancing and then looks at the sky. I look at my feet, which are killing me. _

_Tyki: Kesandra, isn't the night beautiful. _

_Me: (grunts) I guess. The moon is bright. _

_Tyki: Yeah…_

_Me: (awkward much)…_

_Tyki: Can I see you some other time? _

_Me: What? (Out of surprise) _

_Tyki: Or is Leo you're ideal? _

_Me: He's just an idiot. But I guess I like him. _

_Tyki: We can be friends right? _

_Me: Yeah…(not.) _

_Suddenly a figure jumps out of the trees towards Tyki. Unsure of myself, I push him out of the way. _

_Me: Tyki watch out! _

_Tyki: Wha?_

_Figure: OUT OF MY WAY WOMAN! He's my target not you! _

_Me: (Gasps) Allen? _

_Allen: Huh? _

_Me: (I push myself so I fall off the balcony with Allen) ARGH! _

_Tyki: Kesandra! _

_Me: Thank god for that. (Lands on the ground) _

_Allen: KANDA? Is that you? Geez you're HEAVY MUCH, cut back on the soba! More importantly, why are you protecting Tyki and why…do you smell so nice? And why…are you cross-dressing? And what's with the blonde hair? Kanda, I thought you were a man and not that stuff what Lavi said about you. _

_Me: Idiot, we're here because Lavi and me are secretly spying on Tyki and Road and we had to go in couple so I had to be the girl. _

_Allen: (Somewhat dreamy) you look good. OH wait, I should also tell you that—_

_Lenalee: (out of the trees) ALLEN I'M COMING! GET OFF OF HIM YOU LEECH! (Kicks me, owww….) ALLEN ISN'T INTERESTED IN GIRLS LIKE YOU! _

_It takes some time for Allen to explain. _

_Lenalee: Oh Kandy, I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you, but you know, you make a better girl than me! _

_Me: Thanks; I'll take that as a compliment. _

_Tyki: (Opens door) Kesandra are you okay? _

_Me: OH…uh…well I lost my shoe… (Whispers to Lenalee and Allen) Get out of here; I'll take care of the rest. _

_Lenalee: Okay, good luck. _

_Allen: Bye (runs and follows Lenalee). _

_Tyki: (helps Kesandra up): Are you all right? Why did you do that? _

_Me: Well I don't know I guess I was concerned for your safety. _

_Tyki: Oh Kesandra…you're the first girl to risk your life for mine...is this what love feels like? (Goes all dreamy) _

_Me: I doubt it. I'm going back in. _

_Tyki: (stares after her) She's so nice and man-like. If only she wasn't dating that Leo jerk. She deserves someone better than that. _

_Inside the ballroom I see Lavi running to the washroom. I see my chance to get him out of here. I have a sudden suspicion about this place. _

_Lavi: Hic. Hic. Man, that was fun. _

_Me: Lavi! We're going. (Pulls him) _

_Lavi: Why!? You're so mean Kandy! Party pooper! _

_Me: Lets. Go. Now. (In a hiss-like way) _

_Lavi: Hic. Sure thing bro, I brought a Vodka bottle anyway. _

_Me: You're so immature! (Heads for the doorway). _

_Tyki: Where are you going, Kesandra? _

_Me: (great) Oh Well you know, Leonard isn't feeling too well and there are cows to be milked! Ah ha ha. _

_Tyki: (Walking closer to me and grabs my hand): You know what? I think you're an exorcist, but I never met one like you before. _

_Me: really and what gives you that impression, you're kind of hurting my hand. _

_Road: (running): Tyki! _

_Tyki: (looks at me and hands me a piece of paper): Here's my number, I know you're an exocist, but…IF HEARTS WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, WHY STOP THEM! IT'S A ROMEO AND JULIET SITUATION FOR SURE, BUT DON'T WORRY! I KNOW IF WE TRY WE CAN OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE! _

_Me: (Almost got knock out due to extreme shock) Thanks. (I'll remember to burn the paper when I go home). _

_Lavi: Hic. _

_Me: Let's go. _

_Tyki: GOOD BYE KESANDRA. YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONLY GIRL I'LL EVER LOVE! (turns his attention to Road when Kanda and Lavi are gone) What is it Road. _

_Road: That was Lavi and Kanda from the black order. _

_Tyki: (Still in dreamy mode) Yeah…WHAT THE HECK? _

Well, that was a most interesting experience to which nothing was accomplished. I think that Lavi's true intentions were just to make fun of me and have a great time. I am going to have a hard to explain this to headquarters. Why do I have to have assignments with people who'll just slow me down? That question, I may never know….

-KANDA

_Thank you for reading. Hope you liked the chapter and please feel free to leave a review! Long or short, good or bad, Kandy doesn't mind (I don't think he'll understand a review is bad anyway, he's just happy to have one). I hope you'll continue to read the chaos that occurs in Kandy's life. :P _

Itachianimefan


	13. Chapter 13

_THANK YOU SO MUCH: dynastayandsamuraiwarrirsfan, Ms. Notebook, khooxp, innocentlySADISTIC, Grapes Rule, Yuu13 and KogasMySexyBeast for reviewing regularly. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you all like it, that's the main point! Kandy also loves the replies, I don't know if he told you, but yes, in his heart he is so happy! So thanks for reviewing and Kandy will keep writing! Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. _

January 19th, 1810

2:00pm

Hello, it's Kanda here again,

Well since my last entry, I was running away with Lavi from the Noah clan. That was really close. And then I met up with Allen and Lenalee in the forest. Yes, you should have heard all those comments like, "Kandy! You look so beautiful!", "Kandy! I love you and your hair!" and "Kandy…are you gay?" Yep, it was a long and interesting night. We had to decide what to do. We could, because we were so close, go and follow the Noah, however, because the Noah were alerted, it would not be the best idea. The Noah's are very clever. They would be wise to be on alert…especially since Tyki thought I was a girl and he actually was interested in me. I'm still angry about that, so I wanted to find the Noah and beat Tyki to a pulp. Can't he tell the difference or did he not have a childhood! Wow… so we decided to come back to headquarters and yes, the picture was circulated. I heard the higher officials got a kick out of the picture, I didn't receive a punishment and yes, the pictures were sent to everyone I know as well. Joys. Thanks a lot Lavi. Every time I pass Komui I can see tears of happiness forming in his eyes. Yes well it's been five quiet days. Oh wait, I forgot to mention Miranda's birthday, which was on January 1st, however, she wasn't here to celebrate, she left late on New year's eve for a mission. Well you know, I didn't hear about her birthday until today when she returned, successful, unlike me. Sniff, sniff. Anyway, enough moping. Nothing interesting happened, yet that is.

Lavi: Hey Kandy!

_Me: Why…my life…it feels so ruined. _

_Lavi: Aww…no it's not. Do you want a Kandy cane? _

_Me: (blinks with some annoyance and sees a Kandy figure lollipop) Lavi (smiles.) _

_Lavi: (licks Kandy's cane's face) Yeah? _

_Me: WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO MAKE CANDY CANES OUT OF ME!!!! _

_Lavi: (offended) Kandy canes, not Candy canes, jeez, if you're going to complain at least get it right. (Walks away, waving the Kandy cane) Well, if you change your mind, come and see me, four for a dollar, just for you Kandy. _

_Me: (Bangs head on the wall) Why!? What did I do to deserve this? _

_Allen: Hey Kanda. _

_Me: What now bean sprout? _

_Allen: Hey, well I just wondered, have you seen Lavi? _

_Me: You want to die? _

_Allen: (laughs) No I'm just joking. (Raises arm and Timcanpy perches on it, accompanied with a sub sandwich.) How are you Timcanpy? _

_Me: Where was he all these weeks. _

_Allen: Well you see, he had a vacation and went to see his family on the other side of the world. _

_Me: Golems don't have families bean sprout. _

_Allen: Yeah I know, but he thinks he does. And besides, I kind of feel sorry for the creature, I mean, he was created and doesn't know what a mom or dad is. _

_Me: You think way too much. _

_Allen: (smiles) Yeah I guess so. So enough about me, what are you doing tonight? _

_Me: What are you so perky about? _

_Allen: Just answer the question Kanda! _

_Me: (sighs) hm…well, I don't think I have anything. I'll be writing—er I mean I'll be practicing my martial arts. Nothing special, why? _

_Allen: Well you see, uh…_

_Me: Spit it out then, you're beginning to get on my nerves! _

_Allen: Sorry. Yes, well I got tickets to see a show and Lenalee and Lavi are too busy and I don't want to ask Komui so—I…I was wondering if you wanted to go with me! _

_Me: A show? _

_Allen: Yeah, a circus-like show. _

_Me: Hm…I've never been to one before. This could be a great experience… _

_Allen (looks up hopefully): So…_

_Me: What's with that look? _

_Allen: Can you come with me? Please!? _

_Me: Fine. _

_Allen: Yeah! I'll pick you up at 5:00pm. (Leaves) _

_Me: Yeah…(after some time) DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT! I'M NOT YOU'RE GIRLFRIEND!!! Stupid bean sprout. Well, a circus…I wonder… _

_---Some time later----_

_First of all, I have no idea what you wear when you go to a circus. I mean, do you dress up nice or not? I know they have animals there and stuff…but…hmm…I'll just wear something casual. I end up wearing a blue t-shirt, white jacket and black pants. It's easy that way. I don't think I'll need my exorcist uniform, but I'll defiantly take my sword. MY SWORD!! Oh how I love you! Yeah it' s my friend :3 and I take him wherever I go. Well, I don't know if swords have genders…good question… _

_Allen: (knocks) Kanda are you ready? _

_Me: Yeah, come on in. _

_Allen comes in wearing a bright red jacket and light blue sweat pants. _

_Me: Uh…_

_Allen: Yeah? Here's your ticket by the way. _

_Me: What's with the tacky colorful stuff? _

_Allen: Oh, well I don't know, I got these clothes for Christmas and I never got to use them, so I thought, why not today! _

_Timcanpy: YEEAHHH!!! _

_Allen: Timmy's coming too, okay? _

_Me: How can I argue? _

_Allen: You can't? Let's go! _

_Me: All right. _

_--Outside—_

_Lenalee: Have fun Kandy! Buy me a present okay?! _

_Me: Maybe. I already bought you some just a few weeks ago. _

_Lenalee: (pouts) here, take this then, I'll pay for my own present. Just buy me something good, okay? _

_Me: (takes money) fine by me. _

_Lenalee: (leaves then says) Oh by the way, isn't this your first __**date**__ Kandy? _

_Allen: A date? _

_(A warrior cry is heard in the background) _

_Lavi: (Swinging on a vine) DON'T TOUCH MY KANDY! (Eyes flash at Allen) _

_Allen: What? I'm so confused! _

_Lavi: He's mine! (Jumps off and lands on Allen) _

_Allen: You're really heavy Lavi. _

_Lavi: Hey! _

_Me: GET OUT! _

_Allen: I'm going to die. _

_Me: PREPARED TO BE THE MEAT IN MY SUSHI LAVI! (Pulls out sword) _

_Lavi: Whoa! Hold it! I don't want to die! _

_Me: Then stop your idiocy and get out. _

_Lavi: WAH!! YOU'RE SO MEAN KANDY! _

_Me: You're so annoying too. _

_Off to the circus we go. _

_It's packed and I mean packed. There's lot's of animals and stuff and scary looking weirdo's to which Allen told me they're clowns. _

_Allen: Yeah clowns, they're supposed to make people laugh. _

_Me: They're kind of scary though. _

_Allen: Yeah, I know what you mean. _

_Me: hm… _

_Allen: What? _

_Me: Well, what's that? _

_Allen: Huh? It's cotton candy. It's sort of sweet. And that's rock candy and this is…hm…well I guess its chewy candy. It's good, want some? _

_Me: I never had any before. _

_Allen: That's so sweet; here I'll get some. _

_Me: Thanks. (Nibbles on it) it tastes…kind of different. _

_Allen: It takes time to get used too. Let's sit here. _

_Me: Okay. _

_The show was about to start and we; well at least I was so excited. There were so many people, children, men and women. The circus really brings people together. Maybe I should come back again. I mean it's nice and all and I even got to try some candy! It's good and that's even considering I don't even like sweet stuff. _

_Man: Excuse me, can I sit here. (We look up, it a man in a long over coat, black hair and beard, accompanied by a plump woman, also in a overcoat, but brown, most likely his wife.) _

_Me: Sure? _

_Allen: Do I know you? _

_Man: Of course not, why would you even suggest that. Wait I know. I bet you think I'm a bum, a hobo because of my clothes, well you know what? You sonny shouldn't judge people with the clothes that they were! And you see this beard! It's the proud beard passed down from out forefathers! How dare you insult me! _

_Woman: And I'm not fat, just so you know. _

_Both: …what the heck? _

_Man: Just shut up and listen to the show. (Sits down and makes a rude noise) _

_Allen: uh maybe we should move? _

_Me: Good thinking bean sprout. _

_Man: Ahah! I bet you think I made that rude noise! _

_Allen: (sweat drop) it has nothing to do with that sir. _

_Woman: You forgot this dear. (Passes him hammer) _

_Allen to Kanda: Hammer…_

_Me: Hammer_

_Both to the man: Lavi is that you? _

_Man: (looks to woman): No! Why would you think that? Why would that young handsome book lad be here? _

_Allen: Lavi, why did you follow us here? _

_Man: (pulls off disguise) cause it would be fun, if my cover wasn't blown, you should have seen the expression on your faces. _

_Allen: Joys. And let me guess you're Lenalee. _

_Woman: Wow Allen you're great, of course Kandy, so are you. _

_Me: Thanks. _

_Lavi: This is great, now we can enjoy the show all together! _

_Lenalee: Yeah!  
Allen: I invited you, you know, you could have just said yes. _

_Lavi: I know, sorry. _

_Allen: No problem. _

_Overhead voice: Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls you are about to see the amazing circus! Please be seated! _

_Allen: It's about to start! _

_Overhead voice: And now welcome Ms. Lovely Road! _

_All: What?! _

_Road: (walks happily on stage) Hello everyone, we hope you love the circus we're about to perform, because you see, sometime during the circus act, you all die. _

_Lavi: Wait…did she just say die? _

_Lenalee: Oh no! _

_Allen: I should've stay home. _

_Me: Bean sprout…that's so my line. _

I wonder how this will end…until next time,

-KANDA

Hello readers! Thanks again for reading my chapter. It makes Kandy and me so happy! YEP! Feel free to leave a review or two, just so you let Kandy know how his writing's coming along and remember, it makes him feel loved. again and with motivation, he'll try to update as soon as possible!

**-Itachianimefan**


	14. Chapter 14

_THANK YOU SO MUCH: dynastayandsamuraiwarriorsfan, Ms. Notebook, khooxp, innocentlySADISTIC, Grapes Rule, Yuu13, TouNiiSan and KogasMySexyBeast for reviewing regularly. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you all like it, that's the main point! Kandy also loves the replies, I don't know if he told you, but yes, in his heart he is so happy! So thanks for reviewing and Kandy will keep writing! Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. These are past entries that Kandy's been hiding from me, that's why they are post dated :D enjoy! _

January 22nd, 1810

2:00pm

Hello journal,

I just realized…does it sound like I'm a crazy person or something? "Hello journal"…man, it sounds like I don't have any friends or something and I have to talk to my journal which is essentially a stack of lined paper. Well here I am again. Let me guess, you're dying to know what happens next in the circus saga right? Muhahaha. Just to let you know, that was my evil laugh, but now that I think about it, I'm kind of bad at evil laughing, no wait, I'm just bad at laughing period. Which would explain why I don't do it too often. Okay, enough of that, you know when I'm talking to you, it seems that I just naturally embarrass myself. T_T I should get a life. Okay. I won't torture you anymore and now you'll know what happened…

Road, causally laughed as she saw the awe struck audience stare at her. Did she just say die? As in cease to exist? Then the panic started. Everyone was trying to get out—only they couldn't…it was like some invisible barrier was already placed on them. Great, now came the crying and yelling and hugging and kissing because everyone thought they were going to die.

_Lavi: Kandy! What do we do!? This shield thing is impregnable! _

_Me: Calm down I'm trying to think…(good thing I brought my sword) _

_Lavi: KANDY I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! _

_Me: Shut up Lavi…I'm really trying to think! (Annoyed much). _

_Lavi: KANDY IF I DIE, CAN I KISS YOU!? _

_Me: DIE!!! (Pulls out Mugen) _

_Lavi: AHHH!!! (Clings onto Lenalee) Lenalee, he's going to kill me! He's an arkuma in disguise! _

_Lenalee: Get off Lavi! Try acting like you're older than us instead of younger. (Looks at Kanda) how's the situation? _

_Me: If you can see, it's pretty bad. I'm horrible at shield things. Where are people when you need them? _

_Allen: (Nervously) I'm here._

_Me: Not you! _

_Allen: I'm ready to fight! Are you ready Timcampy? _

_Me: (rolls eyes) You are so weird. Look guys, I suggest a frontal attack. (Glances at Lenalee) You've lost your innocence and you can't fight so stay back. _

_Lenalee: But-_

_Me: No buts! Lavi and You (Allen) Get ready. _

_Lavi: Let's go into action! _

_Allen: Yeah! _

_Road notices us, which I don't know…sort of ruins the idea of a frontal attack. Oh well, it's not like it'll make a difference. I know I'll still kick butt. _

_Road: Nice of you to join us exorcists! (Menacing smile) How about you be the first ones to die? _

_Lavi: I don't want to die! _

_Me: Shut up! Don't waste your energy making pointless warrior cries! _

_Lavi: They're not warrior cries! I don't make those type of noises you do before you fight! _

_Me: ME? I don't make noises _

_Lavi: Sure you do like, 'I'm going to kill you!" except in a more catchy tune. _

_Me: …Okay what? I'm so confused! _

_Allen: When do we fight? _

_Road: Oh Allen! You're here too! _

_Allen: Ah, yes? _

_Me: Just go to your girlfriend Bean sprout! _

_Allen: She's not my girlfriend! _

_Me: Oh yeah? Are you sure? Last time I checked she was kissing you! _

_Allen: Oh yeah? Well at least I don't make out with a guy! _

_Me: WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU INSIGNIFICANT PIECE OF PARTICLE? _

_Allen: I said at least I don't make out with a guy! _

_Me: WHEN DID I MAKE OUT WITH A GUY?! _

_Allen: I don't know (thinks) maybe with your boyfriend Tyki? _

_Me: …THAT DOES NOT COUNT AND I DID NOT KISS HIM! _

_Allen: Oh right, you were just beating him mouth-to-mouth right? _

_Me: I did not. _

_Allen: And then you saved him from my attack! _

_Me: …I didn't know it was you. _

_Allen: And still you blocked him Kanda, that's so romantic. _

_Tyki: (who just entered the room) __Kesandra? Dear is that you? _

Me: Uh…no?

_Tyki: (eyes watering) I've been waiting for your call, but you never contacted me! _

_Me: CAN'T YOU SEE I'M A GUY AND MY NAME IS KANDA. GOT THAT? _

_Road: That's so mean Kandy! Can't you see that Tyki never recovered from his meeting with you, no matter what I did, I couldn't convince him you were Kanda, and now he's madly in love with you. _

_Me: WHAT?! _

_Road: Serves you right for dressing up like that with the blonde hair and everything. _

_Tyki: (reaches out) Oh Kesandra…_

_Me: (Raises sword) Not a step closer. _

_Tyki: (blinks) Why Kesandra? Why are you doing this to me? Is it because of him! (Points to Lavi) Is it because Leo has an abusive relationship with you? Well let me tell you something Kesandra, you needn't worry. You can live with me together. I know you like cows, I mean milking them so I even saved enough money to buy you some, only enough for about five though, but still you could start over because I heard from school that an abusive relationship isn't good for you. _

_Me: What. The. Heck. Is…WRONG WITH THIS GUY! WHY DOES IT ALWAYS LOOK LIKE I'M A GAYO!!! _

_Allen: (Sighs) Cause you are? _

_Me: I am not Bean sprout. _

_Allen: If you're not then who do you like?_

_Me: Uh…._

_Allen: See, I told you and besides. (Looks at Tyki) He'd be a great partner for you. _

_Me: I ought to indent you head. _

_Allen: Whatever. Look out he's—_

_Tyki: (embracing Kandy) You smell nice Kesandra. What shampoo do you use? _

_Lenalee: Whoa, Kandy, do you use the same kind I do? _

_Me: Lenalee, not you too! _

_Lenalee: Sorry sorry, I just had to check. _

_Me: Let go of me! (Swings sword blindly) _

_Tyki: I will never let you go until the depths of hell split us apart. _

_Me: Great poetry, (stabs Tyki) But I really don't care. _

_Tyki: (Clasping wound) Why Kesandra? Am I not good enough for you? _

_Me: I'm KANDA!!!  
Tyki: I stopped drinking, smoking, other affairs, just for you. _ I even lost weight. _

_Me: This guy is insane, Lavi, you kill him (looks over to see a crying Lavi) WHAT NOW? _

_Lavi: You were…. cheating on me? _

_Me: WHAT THE HECK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU PEOPLE! _

_Road: It's okay Tyki, sometimes you just get dumped, and girls are so cruel! (Glares at me) _

_Me: What are you looking at? _

_Road: Nothing much, just a heartless girl who won't accept my brothers feelings for him. You know what? Maybe I should get rid of you. _

_Tyki: NO ROAD! Not her, she's so pure and kind and gentle. I must have done something to upset her. I must fix my bad habits and become good enough for her. _

_Allen: You can do it Tyki! _

_Tyki: (suddenly realizes) You Allen Walker, I shall kill you, you exorcist! (Charges) _

_Allen: Finally a battle! (Transforms arm) _

_Road: Let's fight, Lavi-Ravi! (Runs towards him) _

_Lavi: I couldn't have said it better! (Pulls out hammer) _

_Me: Hey! How come I end up watching? (Sighs) _

_Lenalee: Don't worry you can keep me company. _

_Me: Great…._

_Lenalee: I sense sarcasm. _

_Me: Not intentionally. _

_Lavi: Take that! And that! _

_Below the audience is watching with amazement. _

_Road: Heh! You have to better than that junior bookman! _

_Lavi: Shut up and die! _

_Tyki: I'll kill you Allen Walker and then Kesandra will finally acknowledge me! _

_Allen: YOU'RE CRAZY! _

_Tyki: (runs fast behind Allen and hits him on the back of his neck. Allen gasps and falls to the ground). Haha! Take that! _

_Allen: Curse…you…(unconsciousness) _

_Me: ALLEN! (Runs out to help him) _

_Tyki: (Grabs Kandy around the waist and runs away.) Let's go Road! _

_Road: I hope you're satisfied now! (To Lavi) bye bye, junior bookman! (Laughs) _

_Lavi: WHY YOU! _

_Road: That was fun; we should play some other time. (Winks and then spots Allen, she runs towards him and grabs Allen) _

_Tyki: What are you doing? Hurry up the shield is disappearing and the order is on it's way! _

_Road: I was just getting something I wanted too. (Sticks out tongue) _

_Tyki: Whatever, let's just get out. _

_Lenalee: ALLEN!!! WAKE UP! HURRY! _

_Lavi: KANDY! MY KANDY!!! HOW DARE YOU BE ABDUCTED AND YOU'RE ONLY A VIRGIN!! _

_Lenalee: Was that really necessary? _

_Lavi: Probably. It'll make him mad and he fights well when he's mad. _

_Lenalee: …shouldn't we go and follow them? _

_Lavi: (Yawns) Why? _

_Lenalee: Well because we have to save them and we don't know where they are. _

_Lavi: (Blinks) good point, let's go Lenalee. KANDY, I'M COMING!!! _

_Lenalee: I hope we're not to late. _

_Lavi: Yes, Kandy, hold on. _

That's it for this one. Until next time,

-KANDA

Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoy Kanda's wait, Kandy's life. Please feel free to leave a review or two to let Kandy he's loved, but as you can see, all the guys have a thing for him ^_^ lol. See you until next time,

Itachianimefan.


	15. Chapter 15

_THANK YOU SO MUCH: dynastayandsamuraiwarriorsfan, Ms. Notebook, khooxp, innocentlySADISTIC, Grapes Rule, Yuu13, TouNiiSan and KogasMySexyBeast for reviewing regularly. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you all like it, that's the main point! Kandy also loves the replies, I don't know if he told you, but yes, in his heart he is so happy! So thanks for reviewing and Kandy will keep writing! Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. These are past entries that Kandy's been hiding from me, that's why they are post dated :D enjoy! _

January 23rd, 1810

2:00pm

HI!

Everyone, I am proud to say, that I, Kanda Yu have returned and am feverishly writing in my journal that you, of course all love. I feel so loved! Ahem. Okay, now on to more pressing matters, like for instance…WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT I'M GAY!!!!! JUST CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY! Yes, I just thought I should make that an important matter in this journal entry, just so you guys know. I know, you're probably laughing saying 'yeah right' and I feel so gloomy, but not depressing/emo gloomy, but you know, thanks for inquiring. -_- Not impressed, you guys have so little faith in me, sometimes I wonder why I even bother to write. I can sense future laughs coming…and the feeling is scary! Anyway, on with life…whatever's left of it anyway…

The room is rather comfortable. A four-poster bed, a polished wood dresser and closet and a huge window with matching maroon draped curtains. I find myself lying on a sofa and reach out to find my sword is still there. Good, I might need it later. The door opens and Tyki enters to my surprise as well as Road with an unconscious Allen. Great. He always seems to weigh me down.

Tyki: Kesandra dear? Are you all right?

_Me: I'm Kanda; nice to know you have major brain issues. _

_Tyki: (blinking) Brain issues? (Tilts his head so he looks like a retard) _

_Me: Yeah, first of all, I'm a guy, second, I'm NOT gay, third, we were meant to be enemies, fourth…_

_Tyki: No fourth? _

_Me: Fourth, I'm going to be the death of you. _

_Tyki: If you are going to kill me Kesandra, I would be happy to die for you. (To Road) Isn't this how classic love stories end? _

_Road: Nice, but I'd rather you didn't die Tyki. (Lays Allen on the bed) Poor thing, he's out of it, (Kisses his head) you know Tyki, Allen's so sweet. _

_Tyki: (in disgust) I don't even know why you like a shorty like that, but all right, it's your life Road. _

_Road: (Offended) At least I'm not gay. _

_Tyki: I'm not; now get out of my room. _

_Road: Hmph. I refuse; besides, I'm too lazy too. _

_Tyki: (rolls eyes) Fine, have it your way. (To Kanda) Oh Kesandra, (opens arms to embrace him) _

_Me: (raises Mugen) Back. Off. Now. _

_Tyki: Are you uncomfortable? _

_Me: No, I'm disgusted. _

_Tyki: (smells himself) But I just had a shower!_

_Me: NOT THAT YOU IDIOT! I DON'T LIKE YOU PERIOD!!! _

_Tyki: But, but…(Hangs head down low and walks out of the room) _

_Me: (sighs) Great, is he gone? _

_Road: (Stroking Allen's hair) No he'll be back. You know, he's not giving up on you so easily. _

_Me: (rolls eyes) Great. _

_Road: That means I'll be you sister in law! (Somewhat cheerfully) _

_Me: WHAT? _

_Road: (slyly) well if you get married an all _

_Me: (to myself) I don't think I can take much more of this…_

_Tyki: (enters with…some cows) I brought you a present, now you can feel right at home! _

_Me: Shoot me, please someone! _

_Allen: (Stirs) Mmm? Kandy, is that you? _

_Me: What Bean sprout, it's KANDA, how many times do I have to tell you? _

_Allen: My head's sore. _

_Me: No duh! If you didn't suck at fighting… _

_Allen: Hey at least I wasn't the damsel in distress. (In a mimicking voice) Oh Tyki my love! _

_Me: You're really pushing your luck, you know that right? _

_Tyki: (Hugs Kanda) Oh Kesandra, don't get mad! _

_Me: OFF!!! (Jabs him with his sword) _

_Tyki: Owww! That hurts Kesandra! _

_Me: Like I care. _

_Tyki: But. Don't you like my cows? _

_Me: Oh yeah, I forgot about them… (Slices them pretty much, they're dead) _

_Tyki: Those poor creatures…may God rest their souls. _

_Me: Yeah right. I don't like cows and I don't like you. So you either let me go or I'll kill you first and then go myself. _

_Tyki: We can have hamburgers! (Cheerfully picking up the pieces of meat) _

_Road: Urgh! Tyki that's just nasty! _

_Allen: I think I'm going to be sick. _

_Road: No Allen, I LOVE YOU!!! _

_Allen: Er, right. _

_Me: Something's wrong in this world, I just know it. _

_Tyki: Here, do you like your meat well done? _

_Me: (pushes meat aside) I'm not hungry. I'm going home. _

_Tyki: (on the brink of tears) WHY?! What am I doing wrong? Please tell me? What can I do to make you stay? _

_Me: (thinks) Nothing. _

_Tyki: (In distress grabs Kandy and kisses him) This is my love to you! _

_Me: 0-o!!!! _

_Allen: OMG, that…my eyes…did not…just…_

_Road: Oh Allen, no need to be jealous (kisses him too) _

_Allen: (pushes back) DIE NOAH!! _

_Road: So hasty to fight…but if you wish that my beloved Allen, then bring it on! (Laughs) _

_Allen: Something is wrong. _

_Lavi: DON'T WORRY KANDY; I'M HERE TO SAVE YOU! _

_Lenalee: ALLEN HOLD ON! _

_Lavi and Lenalee: (Freeze when they see Tyki and Kandy making out) _

_Lenalee: Uh…are we interrupting something? _

_Lavi: O-o…_

_Tyki: There, how was that, Kesandra? Actually I'm bad at kissing, seeing I never do it too often. Actually I don't think I'd ever done it. I never had a girlfriend…_

_Me: (cuts, splats, jumps, kicks and spit on him) don't you ever do that again! (Eyes flash) _

_Tyki: WHY? _

_Lavi: KANDY YOU TRAITER CHEATER MAN!!! _

_Me: WHAT DID I DO? _

_Lavi: HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE TYKI OVER ME!!! FOOL!!!  
Me: DIE!!!! (Currently fighting Tyki and Lavi at the same time) _

_Lenalee: Allen are you all right? _

_Road: What are you doing here girly? _

_Lenalee: How dare you hurt my friends! _

_Lavi: HOW DARE YOU DISGRACE MY LOVER!!! _

_Me: Now that I think about it…I think death is my only possibility…_

_Lavi: NO KANDY!! DON'T DO IT! I'LL FORGET EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TODAY AND WE CAN START ANEW!! _

_Me: Yep. I think death is the choice. _

_Lavi: NO! _

_Tyki: Hey, who are you to decide that Kesandra's yours _

_Lavi: Uh…his name is Kandy. Speaking of which, are you interested in buying Kandy canes, which are currently on sale? (Hold some out) _

_Tyki: (Eyes widening) I'll take 1 000 000! _

_Lavi: (writing receipt) Okay well they'll be in the mail shortly. _

_Tyki: (writing check) Thank you! (To Kandy) It'll be like eating you! _

_Me: Great. (Pulls Mugen and smiles evilly) Time to die. _

_After some time_

_Tyki and Road are knocked out. _ _

_Me: We should really kill them you know…(cleaning Mugen) _

_Lavi: But, we already accomplished all we need to_

_Lenalee: And besides, too much killing isn't too good. _

_Allen: Ew…she kissed me again…did anyone bring mouthwash or something?_

_Me: Suck it up; at least a guy didn't kiss you… _

_Lenalee: Now what? _

_Me: We go home. _

_Lavi: Hey look at these, they're information about the Noah and stuff. _

_Me: Hey let me see that file! _

_Lavi: Don't grab Kandy! _

_Me: Give them to me! It's my mission! _

_Lenalee: Guys! You're so childish! _

_Allen: Timcampy are you okay? _

_Me: (with the files in my hand) Whoa…it's all about their plans and stuff…_

_Lavi: And members…this would be useful, I should give it to senior bookman…_

_Lenalee: Whoa, they have a lot of members! _

_Allen: Is that good? _

_Me: Fool no. We should get going, we don't know if someone else is in this building. _

_Lavi: What's to worry about? Jeez Kandy you're so tense! Relax! Hey after this we should take a vacation! _

_Lenalee: Yeah! That would be fun! _

_Allen: Where? _

_Lavi: I don't know somewhere foreign! _

_Me: Great, let's just go, I'm getting a sudden chill about this place…_

_Voice: You should. _

_Everyone: (turns to find the source of the voice) EARL!!! _

_Earl: You hurt my children's feelings. You knocked them out and now you're looking through their personal files. I cannot let this pass so simply. _

_Allen: Uh…well that was all his (Kandy's) fault! _

_Me: YOU TRAITOR! IT WAS YOUR FAULT TOO! _

_Lavi: (sighs) Do we have to fight this fat rabbit again? _

_Lenalee: I guess so. _

_Earl: I'M NOT FAT!!! JUST PLEASANTLY PLUMP! _

_Allen: Same difference…_

_Earl: How dare you make fun of me! This is why I want my revenge! _

_Lavi: Wait. Cause you're fat? _

_Earl: I HATE YOU EXORCISTS! _

_Everyone: Yeah, we know. _

_Earl: Prepare to die! _

_Tyki and Road stirring: NO FATHER! (Stands in front of the exorcists) _

_Earl: (in disbelief) do you know what you're doing, protecting the enemy. _

_Both: BUT WE'RE IN LOVE!!! _

_Earl: I AS YOUR FATHER DISAPPROVE!!!! _

_Tyki: But-_

_Road: You can't- _

_Earl: I can! And as your father I forbid you to see them again! _

_Road: (drops to her knees) Allen (in disbelief) Why father! What have I done to deserve this!? _

_Tyki: KESANDRA!!! MY LOVE FLOWS FOR YOU! _

_Me: Just ignore him…la la la la _

_Lavi: Hey I like that tune! _

_Me: I wasn't a tune you fool! _

_Earl: Outrageous! _

_Tyki: Can I marry him? _

_Earl and Kandy: NO! _

_Tyki: TEARS! IF I CAN'T HAVE KESANDRA, I MUST COMMIT SUICIDE! _

_Me: Fine by me… _

_Road: WAH!! FATHER! YOU'RE SO MEAN! THIS IS WHY MOTHER LEFT YOU! _

_Earl: Hey, you're hitting a very precious nerve. _

_Road: So what? _

_The two Noahs and Earl are fighting. _

_Lavi: We should just fade away. _

_Allen: Yeah, let's go now. _

_Me: Great thinking. _

_Lenalee: Hurry. _

_They slip out. _

_Earl: FINE DO WHAT YOU WANT. I'LL JUST DISOWN YOU! _

_Tyki: YES! Did you hear that Kesandra (turns) Kes-? _

_Road: Oh no, Allen where did you go? _

_Earl: They left. _

_Meanwhile…_

_Me: That was too close. _

_Allen: But I'm glad it's over. _

_Me: This is your entire fault, if you didn't invite me to that circus thing. _

_Allen: AH HA, Yeah I guess. _

On the bright side, we escaped and I didn't get married. The bad thing is Tyki sent a letter to the Black order asking their permission to marry me. I was P. but yeah, all that gay stuff died down. I wonder what will happen next in my messed up life. I could only imagine….

Until next time,

-KANDA

Thank you for reading and please feel free to leave a review or two. They really do inspire me, well Kandy that is and by now, he needs a lot of support. :P

-_**Itachianimefan. **_


	16. Chapter 16

_THANK YOU SO MUCH: dynastayandsamuraiwarriorsfan, Ms. Notebook, khooxp, innocentlySADISTIC, Grapes Rule, Yuu13, TouNiiSan and KogasMySexyBeast for reviewing regularly. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you all like it, that's the main point! Kandy also loves the replies, I don't know if he told you, but yes, in his heart he is so happy! So thanks for reviewing and Kandy will keep writing! Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. These are past entries that Kandy's been hiding from me, that's why they are post dated :D enjoy! _

January 25th, 1810

4:30pm

Yes,

I'm back from that H*** of a time last time. I can't believe that happened! My first kiss! On a weird Noah Tyki dude! I feel like I want to cry so hard, but I won't cause, well, it's a man thing. I was somewhat punished by the Black Order, (just me, not everyone else). I don't know how that works out, but it did and I, as usual ended up with a punishment. Sighs well, that's not unusual. It was just being Komui's lapdog. Actually, now that I think about it, it was probably him who decided my punishment because he was too lazy to do stuff himself. :I Fooled again! I deserve rights too! I should make a complaint. Hm…but I don't know, well I'll just let that one slip; besides, he didn't treat me that bad. That was yesterday and today; well that was something different all right. The Black order is going psycho that one day, they'll run out of innocence and as you might know already, the science department is trying to create man-made innocence, however, there is another department that is looking for possible naturally made innocence holders and are scouting as many possible children candidates as well. Today, I had to baby sit a whole bunch. About ten and to tell you the truth, I'm horrible with children. Like, I'm really, really bad. I never had any practice, I have very little tolerance, and…I don't have the energy to keep up with them =_=, I'm so tried, even so early in the evening. What time is it? Only 4:10pm and I'm TIRED! Evil little children. What you say? You want to know how my day went with those little energy bursts? Well, I guess I'll tell you. Mind you, it wasn't that embarrassing. But wait, maybe I shouldn't say that so soon…

Komui: Kandy, I need you to do a huge favour for me.

_Me: Oh yeah, and why would I want to do that? You made me suffer yesterday with sorting out your papers and you don't even recycle! _

_Komui: I was angry so I just told you to throw them in the garbage, no biggie, besides, we have lots of trees in our world, if we run out, I'm sure the science department would be able to recreate trees. _

_Me: What if I say no? _

_Komui: (Smirks and rummages through his bag) Well you know, I do have various pictures of you, you know, the sirades game, you with a dress, and many more, maybe I should share them headquarters? _

_Me: (Sweat drop) I will continue to be a slave all my life with those pictures…Okay, what do you want me to do? _

_Komui: That's more like it. I want you to look after some kids for me. _

_Me: Sure—what? _

_Komui: Kids? You know what they are Kandy right? Children, something that you were once a long time ago? _

_Me: Fool, I know what they are; I'm not that stupid! _

_Komui: Just checking. I heard that you didn't have much education from someone. _

_Me: I bet it was Lavi. He'd spread sad facts about me to everyone. (Crosses arms) Okay, so what do you want me to do, play tag with them, cause you know I don't get along with people, lest children. I don't think I have nerves for them. (Glances at the pictures.) Actually, I don't think I have nerves for no one these days…. _

_Komui: They're children who the order believes could be future exorcists and so, I want the utter most care to tended to them. If you don't, these pictures will go in all textbooks for all eternity. _

_Me: ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! I GET IT! JEEZ! Could you find anymore ways to torture a poor guy?! _

_Komui: Well, you know, I think-_

_Me: Never mind, don't answer. You'll just make me angry. _

_Komui: Follow me, the children are over here. _

_Me: Joys. _

_Komui walks a down a corridor and opens a pair of huge oak double doors. Personally, I don't remember ever going in this part of the Order, but who knows, I've been here so long, it's not like I can remember every place. Inside a huge rush of little kids come running towards Komui. _

_Children (all at once): Komui you're back! I thought you'd never come! What took you so long? Who's that! I'm hungry! I want to go to the bathroom! Am I an exorcist yet? _

_Komui: OH my, children, you're so full of energy. And I'm just…too old for this job. _

_Me: THEN WHY GIVE IT TO ME! _

_Child: She's scary. She's not taking care of us is she? _

_Komui: Well Daniel, that's Kanda Yuu, feel free to call him Kandy or Yuu and—_

_Me: Wait it buddy, it's not Yu, never ever ever! Got that? _

_Komui: Er, right. It's Kandy, and he's a guy. _

_Daniel: (blinks) No why! If I'm an exorcist, do I have to hide my sex too? _

_Me: It's call long hair brat! _

_Komui: (Whacks my head) _

_Me: What's that for? _

_Komui: You never yell at a child. He doesn't know yet. So don't beat him up. _

_Me: Fine. You're so mean to me! _

_Daniel: I think I might actually like you. (Holds my hand) _

_Me: (must resist to urge to kill him) That's nice._

_Komui: See, you can have a good side to you too. (Turns to leave) Have fun Kandy, it's only for a short time. _

_Me: Really how long. _

_Komui: Four hours maybe?_

_Me: That's long. I was thinking more like half an hour, but (quickly says before Komui speaks) I'll do my best sir. _

_Komui: (smiles) Thanks Kandy. Besides, this is good experience for you; you might be a father one day. _

_Me: Yeah. Right. _

_Komui: oh right, I forgot, its kind of hard to be a father when you're in love with a guy. Cough Tyki _

_Me: Say something? (Glares) _

_Komui: No not at all. (Leaves) _

_Me: Okay kids, what do you want to do first? _

_Daniel: Why would you like another guy? _

_Me: I don't. I like a girl. _

_Daniel: Really? Who? _

_Me: Uh…no one right now. _

_Child: I'm Shisho, and I think we should play tag or hide and go seek! _

_Me: Shisho, huh? Well I think hide and seek is good, everyone want to play? _

_Children: (nods) _

_Me: Okay, I'll be it. I'll count to fifty. You better hide well, you can hide wherever, just don't go too far. _

_Children: OKAY! _

_Me: (Closes eyes) One…two…three…(hear scattering feat) _

_After fifty. _

_Me: Ready or not, here I come. (Walks around. I don't think anyone is in this room. Great. This is going to be one heck of a job. Well I better try the library first) _

_At the library: _

_Librarian: Hello Kandy, we're just received some new bestsellers, I thought you'd like to browse. They're over there._

_Me: thanks, but not right now, I'm babysitting some kids and I'm playing hide and seek with them. _

_Librarian: That's so nice of you Kandy. Well, to save you some trouble, no kids came through here. _

_Me: thanks. I'll better go. _

_Okay, so they're not there. Maybe in the cafeteria? Yeah, that's it. I mean kids like to hide where the food is right? Cookies and candy and stuff. Let's try there. _

_At the cafeteria: _

_Cook: Some soba there, Kandy? _

_Me: No, that's, just looking for some little kids. _

_Cook: We don't sell kids here Kandy, try the black market though. _

_Me: Oh, not like that! I'm baby-sitting some and I'm playing hide and seek! _

_Cook: (Laughs) OH, sorry about that. Well, I think I did some scurry past here, but they left a while ago. _

_Me: Thanks; I'll try somewhere else. _

_Where would they go? Mediation room? I highly doubt it, but since I'm near, I might as well try it. _

_Meditation room: _

_Lavi: Oh Kandy, what're doing here? _

_Me: Lavi? You meditate? _

_Lavi: You sound surprised! I'm hurt! _

_Me: Er right, I just didn't think you'd be able to handle meditation. _

_Lavi: I'm so breaking up with you. _

_Me: Sure, but we were never together anyway. _

_Lavi: Sniff. Well what do you want? _

_Me: Looking for kids. _

_Lavi: (grins) Oh so you're into them now right? _

_Me: NO YOU PERVERT! I'M PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK WITH THEM! _

_Lavi: Whoa, don't let a fuse. I was just teasing. But to tell you something, I didn't see any children. So go, go. _

_Me: Thanks. I guess. _

_Lavi: Have fun, my little Kandy. (Unwraps a Kandy cane and laughs) _

_I really don't think I like the idea of hide and seek. Next time we'll play an easy game, like toss the chicken. Where now? The bathrooms? I guess, I don't think they'll go there though. Worth a try. _

_IN the males washroom: _

_Allen: Hi Kanda! _

_Me: OH you. _

_Allen: Are you still mad at me? _

_Me: Obviously. _

_Allen: Look I really am sorry. _

_Me: Right. _

_Allen: Are you looking for something? _

_Me: Children._

_Allen: Hungry?_

_Me: (glares) you fool, I don't eat them. I'm playing hide and seek with them._

_Allen: Oh right. Sorry. Well no one here. (Picks up toothbrush) _

_Me: Sighs. This mission just became impossible. (Walks outside and glances at female washroom. You know, there were some female children. But I have to find them. The only way to find them is to go inside! I'll be quick and no one will see) _

_In the female washroom: _

_Miranda: KANDY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! _

_Me: Wait! I can explain! It's not what you seem! _

_Miranda: Don't you have any pride? How dare you! _

_Me: All right all right, I'm going! _

_Miranda: I can't believe—_

_Me: (closes door) Jeez! _

_General Cross: Hello Kanda Yu. _

_Me: General Cross? What can I do for you? _

_Cross: Well you see the Order needs the children now and so we were looking for you. _

_Me: Uh…_

_Cross: But where are they? _

_Me: Uh…_

_Cross: You. Lost. Them? _

_Me: Uh…not quite. I'm looking for them right now. _

_Cross: I would shot you with my gun right now if you weren't such a damn good exorcist. _

_Me: Ah ha. _

_Cross: Find them now. _

_Me: Right away sir! (Runs) _

_Where on earth could they be? I'm in so much trouble right now. I need to find them! But I'm so tired and I give up. I don't care. I'm going to bed. _

_Enters room: _

_Daniel: Hello Kandy! _

_Me: What are you doing here? _

_Daniel: decorating your room! _

_Me: WHAT!!! (Pushes him gently aside. I rush in to see a hand painted wall, kids jumping on the bed. Drinks spilt on the carpet and cookies smashed on the floor.) OH no. _

_Lenalee: (changing diaper) Hello Kandy! _

_Me: What you doing my room? _

_Lenalee: Well the children wanted to see where you lived and they came here. _

_Me: But—but! _

_Cross: So these are where you keeping the children hostage. _

_Me: (turns to see Cross, Komui and other elders) No, you've got it all wrong! _

_Cross: Sure. _

_Komui: How could you do this to innocent children Kandy? _

_Me: I didn't do anything and you wanted me to take care of them! _

_Komui: How could you even suggest that? You stole them from me! _

_Me: YOU LIAR!!! _

_Komui: (eyes flashed as if saying 'the pictures') _

_Cross: Did you steal the children? _

_Me: I…just wanted to play with them sir. _

_Cross: Sure you did. See us after around seven. Come along children. _

_Daniel: Bye Kandy! It was fun. _

_Me: Right. (Close my eyes could this day get any worse, yes it could, I have to clean everything.) Lenalee you have to help—_

_Komui: Come along Lenalee, we better leave Kandy to reflect on what he did. _

_Lenalee: But, oh all right. Bye Kandy, maybe I'll help later. _

_Me: Yeah sure. _

_Everyone leaves, leaving me alone. _

I don't how these things always happen to me, but I know that this will be a messy job. In reality, it took six hours to clean the walls and the floor. Not the mention all the other new stuff I have to replace. Good thing I took my journal with me. I hate children, I don't care that I was one; I was not one like them. And I will, one day soon…GET MY REVENGE HA HA HA!

Until next time,

-KANDA

Thanks for reading, and please leave a review, you know Kandy secretly loves it.

I hope you like Kandy's life and if you have suggestions or you would like to see something, please also include it in the review. Thanks again.

-_**Itachianimefan. ~ **_


	17. Chap 17 includes more than one entry

_THANK YOU SO MUCH: dynastayandsamuraiwarriorsfan, Ms. Notebook, khooxp, innocentlySADISTIC, Grapes Rule, Yuu13, TouNiiSan and KogasMySexyBeast for reviewing regularly. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you all like it, that's the main point! Kandy also loves the replies, I don't know if he told you, but yes, in his heart he is so happy! So thanks for reviewing and Kandy will keep writing! Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. These are past entries that Kandy's been hiding from me, that's why they are post dated :D enjoy! _

From February 7th, 1810

5:30pm

Hello,

I know, it's been ages since I've written in this journal. I'm sorry journal, and I'm sorry, my noble readers, I've just…haven't the energy anymore. These kids running around the order and harassing me, I just can't stand it. I thought it would get better, that they'd find an interest in someone other than me, perhaps someone who can handle children and not try and murder them, but no, with my rotten luck, they just keep coming back. =_=…I don't have energy. Today was as bad as yesterday. I have to entertain them; I don't see why seeing it is supposed to be Komui's duty, however, with the threat of pictures, he has his noose tightly around my neck. AND ALL I EVER WANTED WAS A MISSION! Is that too hard to ask for? A real mission, something an exorcist would do, not a nanny. I'm ever too tired to complain. I feel sorry for myself.

Lenalee: Whoa, Kandy, you don't look to well. Are you all right?

_Me: Whatever to do mean? (Tries to smile), Do you really want me to answer that? _

_Lenalee: You have bags under your eyes. _

_Me: Yep. About ten years worth. _

_Lenalee: And you look malnourished. _

_Me: I haven't eaten anything all day. (Thinks) I don't ever remember eating yesterday. _

_Lenalee: The determination in your eyes has faded. _

_Me: No kidding. _

_Lenalee: And…your teeth are yellow! Who's going to go out with you now? _

_Me: What? _

_Lenalee: Did you forget Kandy? Next week is Valentine's Day! _

_Me: Great…you know what, I think; I might accidentally jump off a bridge or something. _

_Lenalee: You can't! Everyone loves you Kandy, especially the children! _

_Me: Am I supposed to feel honored or something? _

_Lenalee: Yea! No one knew you liked children so much. _

_Me: Really? (I don't it's just that Komui is threatening me). You make me sound like a pedophile. I'm going to bed. _

_Lenalee: Okay, make sure to eat something though! Bye Kandy! _

February 8th, 1810

7:45pm

HI!

Yes! I have more determination than yesterday! I got a plan to get rid of them forever! Those evil children. Mu ha ha ha! Finally everyone will see the greatness of Kandy! Wait…. did I just call myself Kandy?! GAHH!! The name is catching onto me. I meant Kanda, okay? AHAHA! REVENGE!!! (Is sweet). I know just what to do…

Daniel: Hey Kandy?

_Me: (Smiles evilly as a black aura surrounds him. A deep dark abyss is in the background) Yes? _

_Daniel: Nothing…WAH!!! HE'S ABDUCTING ME!!!! (Cries out and the other twenty children start running and crying for no reason. Suddenly the doors burst open as Cross enters). _

_Cross: What are you doing? _

_Me: What does it look like genius, or are you too dumb to figure it out. (Hate waves are still emitting). _

_Cross: You looked drugged. (Touches my forehead) You okay son? _

_Me: …what? _

_Cross: Yep. Definitely drugged. Hey guys! (Yells out to the door and two men come in, scientists I presume) Get this guy some help. _

_Me: Wait! I don't need any! I'm perfectly fine! _

_Cross: Yes, that's what they all say. You know what son? I've been keeping a close eye on you. You have constant mood swings-_

_Me: That was from those kids (points) Animals from hell. _

_Cross: Yes now you think there's actually as place called hell. And those are children son, not animals. Secondly you haven't eaten anything. Now I know what you're going to say. I know men like you want to impress the ladies and being slim is the only way to do it, but dude seriously the anorexic stuff isn't going to help-_

_Me: Wait-_

_Cross: Imagine this, your walking on the beach with the girl and she slips and is about to perish into the waters, but then you react and try to catch her. Except the fact you're too weak and tired to lift her up. And then you both fall in the water and drown. _

_Me: …Okay first of all, you wouldn't drown if you were on the shore of the beach, I mean the water is about a centimeter deep and secondly, I don't like anyone. Oh and I'm not anorexic. _

_Cross: That's what they all say. (Nods to the two scientists) take him away and don't bring him back until he's much better. _

_Me: WAIT!!!!! _

_Scientist 1: Let's go Kandy! _

_Scientist 2: Don't worry; we have lots of …__**FUN**__ in the labs._

_Me: What? Labs? Fun?! I don't want to go! (Turns to see Cross lighting a cigarette, smirking to himself) You are so going to pay! _

_Cross: (blows out puff of smoke) No son, you have to pay me cause we just had a genuine man-to-man talk. I used to charge that Walker kid all the time…ha…the good old days. (Blows a puff of smoke) Bye Kandy, I do hope you improve. (Waves as the doors close). _

_Me: ! (My wails are completely ignored as they drag me down the hall). _

February 13th, 1810

9:45pm

…

…

……………

Worst. Day. Of. My. Life. (Sorry with the ellipses, but really I didn't know how to start this one). It really was the worst day, and I know, you can hardly believe it, but it was. Why you ponder? Because. Ahem…they took me to the hospital and a doctor came in (he had a mustache) and he examined me and apparently I have to ATTEND FREAKING THERAPHY PHYSCOLOGIST SESSIONS!!!! GAH!! I hate children. I literally hate them, and I also hate Cross, no wait. I hate Cross more than anything in the world. I also hate my life…and Allen, because he knows Cross and I hate him. :) Did I mention I hate Cross? Well, let me tell you my fickle friends, the tale that ruined my life (about the 20th one too Doctor Mustache (DM for later): Tell me kid, I'm supposed to be convinced?

_Me: IT was the kid's fault I swear…and that Cross dude. I swear I'm bloody not crazy! _

_DM: Right. You know what? I have no respect for teenagers such as yourselves. I mean Captain Cross had the decency and time to try and help your problems and this is how you treat him? Complain and whine? Geez, you little brats, go get a real job and then complain. _

_Me: WHAT THE HECK IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I'M AN EXORCIST! WHAT ARE YOU MR. MUSCTACHE?! _

_DM: Exorcist? Phew, kid you can do better than that. I know you want to be like a star, but no matter what you do, you'll always be a little kid. Not some exorcist. _

_Me: (Blink blink) Check my records. _

_DM: Do you take me for a fool kid? I did check your records. _

_Me: And the occupation says exorcist, right? _

_DM: Uh no, it says former drug dealer, presently a pervert and garbage collector, as well as occasionally performing rituals on dead animals. _

_Me: …_

_DM: What? _

_Me: …KOMUI I SWEAR ONCE I GET OUT OF HERE I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AND I MEAN IT!!!!! _

_DM: (Writes down) Yes, he's definitely crazy. I'll be back, just try to rest and get some sleep. I'll try and get the drugs out of your system. _

_Me: THERE ARE NO DRUGS!!! _

DM: (Heads towards the door) Sure kid, sure. (Opens door) Oh hello there? You want to visit? Well see sonny, he's a bit in a shock right now, yes, because of the lack of drugs…and dead animals.

_Me: !!! _

_DM: Well come in and see him for a bit. (Turns to me) You have a visitor, try not to bite or eat them, you must remain in your bed at all times and don't cause him any trouble or I'll strap you down to your bed for a week, got that? _

_Me: …_

_DM: ANSWER ME, PUNK! _

_Me: Alright, jeez, anger management problems…(DM leaves) _

_Daniel: Hello Kandy! _

_Me: Oh my, help me (shuts eyes and pretends to sleep) _

_Daniel: Hey Kandy, I brought you some cakes, I thought they wouldn't feed you here so I'm going to visit you from now on. (Places bag on desk) _

_Me: I don't want it kid. I bet you're laughing now. I bet you're thinking "hey look at the stupid adult in a physco hospital._

_Daniel: Why are you here. _

_Me: I don't know, why don't you ask Cross or something. _

_Daniel: Are you mad at me, Kandy? (Quietly) _

_Me: No. _

_Daniel: Then…why are you 1) holding your breath, 2) Grabbing the side of the bed so hard your knuckles are white and 3) not looking at me in the eye? _

_Me: (Opens eyes) Better? _

_Daniel: (Smiles) Yes. _

_(Some silence enters) _

_Daniel: You know what Kandy? _

_Me: (Somewhat annoyed) What? _

_Daniel: I like you very much. You remind me of my brother that died last year from an akuma. He would have liked you too. I mean, he's exactly like you. _

_Me: (Great now what do I say, "I don't care?") Uh…that's nice. _

_Daniel: (Sniffs) But, I know that he would have wanted me to become an exorcist. He always said I had the ability. I want to make him proud (Begins balling) and show my parents that I'm worthy. I WANT THEM TO LOOK AT ME LIKE THEIR SON AGAIN! WAH!!! _

_Me: Uh…kid, (great!) uh…(reaches out and pats his head, just to my luck right them and now the stupid DM comes in and looks at me with surprise and outrage). _

_DM: GET YOUR HANDS OFF THE CHILD YOU MOLESTER! _

_Me: Whoa! Whoa! You have to wrong idea, it's called comforting! _

_DM: YEAH, COMFORTING YOUR DESIRES! _

_Me: You buffoon, just go die in a hole! _

_DM: WHAT?! _

_Daniel: NO sir really, he was just comforting me. _

_DM: (regards kid) WHAT?! _

_Me: What? (in a dull sort of way) _

_DM: WHAT THE BLOODY HE** DID YOU DO TO THIS CHILD! HE'S CRYING!!! _

_Me: Oh my, how do I explain this…_

_DM: It's okay sonny, you don't have to stand up for him. I know all about him. We need to make a complaint, immediately to the police! Call Cross right now! (Runs out the doors) EVERYONE!!!! _

_Me: Now, I can escape. _

_Daniel: No! Mr. Kandy, you can't! They'll make you better if you stay here! _

Me: YEAH RIGHT! I'm going insane BECAUSE I'm staying here. Daniel: Well, how are you going to run anyway? Me: (looks at the 6 story high window beside me) How? Well, let's just say, we're going on some bungee jumping lessons. Daniel: WHA? We? Me: Oh yeah, you just stay here. Daniel: No way I'm coming with you. Me: Fine. Don't come crying to me. Daniel: I won't if you won't. Wait, don't you need rope?

Me: Oh yeah…well we'll just compromise and use this.

_Daniel: (Arches eyebrows) Intravenous tubes? _

_Me: You bet. _

_Daniel: Wait-_

_Me: (cracks glass and ties the cord on Daniel and myself) too late kid here we go! _

_Daniel: ! _

_Me: Ow…my ears. _

_Daniel: ! _

_DM: (from the window) Hurry the enemy is escaping! (Sound of the trumpets as an intense Mozart piece plays in the background). :D _

_And to my advantage, the stupid line breaks. _

_Me: What a day to die. _

_Daniel: I don't want to die! WAH! If you wanted to take your life why did you take me with you? Idiot! _

_Me: Fool, we're going to be just—(I stop speaking because at that moment I see a figure on the ground) Oh no. _

_Daniel: What? Did you just realize we're going to die? _

_Me: No it's worst than that…_

_Daniel: Well, don't tell me! _

_Me: Much worst than that…._

_Stranger from below: At long last. _

_Me: Yep, I'm right, much worst…_

_Stranger from below: CASSANDRA! AT LONG LAST I HAVE FOUND YOU MY LOVE!!!! _

_Me: Yep, it's really bad. _

_Tyki: (Opens arms) My darling, for you I have traveled the world. I have been in Italy, France and Belgium, actually I think I gained a few pounds in Belgium, but oh well, I ran all the way to Japan and I'm still slim and sexy, just the way you like me. _

_Daniel: (After realizing that we were not going to fall to our deaths gets the situation right away) Kandy…you're into…you like MEN?! _

_Me: No, (sighs, here we go again) I'm not gay; this guy is my sworn enemy but does not seem to have a right head thing. He's loopy. Dumb. Insane. Anything but normal so he has a crush on me, not the other way around. _

_Tyki: Oh Cassandra, _

_Me: Put me down, or I'll strangle you with this intravenous cord! _

_Tyki: Cassandra I— _

_Me: I mean it! _

_DM: HEY! I SEE THAT! ABUSE! ABUSE!! Police quickly the madman with the child hostage is over here! HURRY! HURRY! _

_Me: GAH! (Jumps out of Tyki's arms) I'm out of here! (Runs)_

_Daniel: WAIT! (Scurries after him)_

_Policeman: Hello, are you all right sir? Did he hurt you? _

_Tyki: Of course not, she's my wife! _

_Policeman: Uh…I hate to tell you this, but she's really a he. _

_Tyki: Really? _

_Policeman: (Embarrassed) Yeah. _

_Tyki: (Blink, blink) So, what's wrong with a healthy man-to-man relationship? _

_Policeman: Umm…nothing sir, just informing you. _

_Tyki: He's so beautiful…_

_DM: Aha! A new patient! _

_Tyki: HUH? _

_DM: Ahem, well young sir, if you come with me, I'll show you all these fancy products that will illuminate your skin and I'm sure that man will be dying to be with you. _

_Tyki: (eyes light up) Really? _

_DM: Yep._

_Me: (Watching from the bushes) Wow, that guy is so dumb. _

_Daniel: Maybe we should warn him. DM's probably going to use him for experimental purposes. _

_Me: I can't go back there; he's going to hug me. Eww…So, you have to go kid. _

_Daniel: No way, I don't want to get involved with your stupid love triangle. _

_Me: It's no love triangle, however, we have to save him. It's moral. It's right, and just. We must, but I can't so you have to. _

_Daniel: But…_

_Me: PLEASE! _

_Daniel: Fine, hang out here; I'll go save your lover. (Runs out so Tyki can see him. His face lights up and runs speedy fast away from DM and the others). _

_Me: Great, what have I done. _

_Daniel: He's coming Kandy, get ready. _

_Me: I'm already running kid, no need for a warning. _

_Tyki: CASSANDRA!!!!! _

_Me: Faster legs! Faster! _

_Tyki: MY HEART IS POUNDING FOR YOU! _

_Me: Oww…it burns! _

_Tyki: TOMORROW IS VALENTINE'S DAY! MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL BE RELEASED AT LAST! _

_Me: (to my help I see a river and turn back to see Tyki catching up) Good bye life, I really wanted to be someone I could be proud in, but it seems no matter how hard I try, it always gets worse. (Jumps in)_

_(Underwater)…._

……

………_._

_Oh…a fishie….. (Loses consciousness) _

Thanks for reading, and please leave a review, you know Kandy secretly loves it. Please note that the next half of his February journals will come out soon (give or take a few weeks) I do hope that you are enjoying his frantic journals.

I hope you like Kandy's life and if you have suggestions or you would like to see something, please also include it in the review. Thanks again.

-_**Itachianimefan. ~ **_


	18. Chapter 18 and MORE! :D

_THANK YOU SO MUCH: __**dynastayandsamuraiwarriorsfan, Ms. Notebook, YukiaSmith01, khooxp, innocentlySADISTIC, Grapes Rule, Yuu13, TouNiiSan **__and __**KogasMySexyBeast**__ for reviewing regularly. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you all like it, that's the main point! Kandy also loves the replies, I don't know if he told you, but yes, in his heart he is so happy! So thanks for reviewing and Kandy will keep writing! Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. These are past entries that Kandy's been hiding from me, that's why they are post dated :D enjoy! _

From February 14th, 1810

4:30pm

So today was Valentine's Day,

Ahem…well it was better than last night which was more like running away from the pedophile weirdo that thinks I'm his gay lover. Note to mention the fact that Daniel was with me. Poor bloke, now he's going to have a damaged mind, well from what Tyki told him, he's shocked. Probably scared of me too, but then again, that's a good thing…I guess. I must tell you, that otherwise, I am very grateful for your reviews. I must admit, some of them I find very…emotional, well I mean that I am very emotional to tell. I LOVE YOU GUYS! Ahem. And well some of them…who decided to put me in a dress? (Glares, glares...) and me liking a kid, I mean that would never happen. Well, unless you count Daniel cause actually, I think I am kind of liking him. But only a little bit, because he's tolerable. And not in a creepy childish way either. Just making sure. PLEASE FANS DON'T BELIEVE THAT I AM A CREEPER!!! TEARS! T_T

Me: Wha? Where am I? Wires in my hand…stinky clean scent…

Tyki: Kandy, you're alive, I'm so happy! I thought you drowned.

Me: yes…well, I might if you keep crying like that.

Tyki: I'm just so happy!

Me: Right.

Tyki: I dived in to save you.

Me: I know.

Tyki: I love you.

Me: I don't. (Getting up) Thanks for the great conversation, but I have to go. Where's the Daniel kid?

Tyki: How can you be so mean?

Me: Years of practice. (Rips out wires and walks around)

Tyki: You can't just leave! I need…I mean…it's Valentines Day!

Me: Your point exactly. And could you go out for a bit, I'm trying to change.

Tyki: Can you manage by yourself?

Me: Quite.

Tyki: (Hesitant) All right…15 minutes and I'll be back (leaves)

Me: And I'll be gone…I just need to think of a way how…

Warden next door: Mr. Simon you will be discharged in 5 minutes.

Me: Aha…that's how.

-

Me: Huff, huff. Okay squirt, I think we lost him.

_Daniel: Huff. Jeez. I can't breathe. _

_Me: Stop joking. Come on; let's go further into the forest. We need to get cover, especially since the sun is rising. _

_Daniel: We've been running all morning. And it's Valentine's Day…can't we…take…a…rest? And I'm tired. I was looking for you all night! You know how scared I was? _

_Me: Look we don't have to argue this again. _

_Daniel: (thump) _

_Me: Kid? (Shakes him) Well, nothing rattling…let's see if there's a heartbeat. IF not, I'll just leave him and let Mother Nature take care of the rest. Now…heart…is it on the left side or right? Wait…I make an 'L' with my left hand…(listens) Yep, it's beating like mad. Is he unconscious? _

_Daniel: …_

_Me: Yep. Now what did Lenalee say to do when someone's unconscious? I think it was CPR or something like that. Oh well, I should try it…but wait…THAT'S MOUTH TO MOUTH! No way am I doing that! (Shoves the kid off his lap) He'll get up…I hope. (Stares at Daniel's lifeless, innocent, young body) DAMMIT! Why do I feel guilty?! If he dies, it's his fault so why should I care? _

…

…_.._

……

_GAH!!! FINE I'LL DO THE CPR JUST DON"T LET HIM DIE!!!! Okay, it's just breathing air into him mouth. It's no big deal Kandy…it can't be worst than other stuff…I can't be…it can't…_

_Tyki: I SEE THAT YOU CHEATER! _

_Me: HUH? _

_Tyki: I've been following you and you were about to kiss that child while's he sleeping! _

_Me: No, you have it all wrong. First of all this child is unconscious-_

_Tyki: AHA! So that means you have the advantage! _

_Me: Advantage? What the heck is your problem? You know what? I don't want to know. I just need to save his life. Go away. You're __**annoying**__. I'll deal with you later. _

Tyki: …

_Me: Hmmm…now let's see, was it 30 pushes and 10 breaths? Or…wait…._

_Tyki: You meant that, didn't you Kandy. _

_Me: What now? _

_Tyki: You hate me don't you? (Tears beginning to flood his face) You think I'm weird like everyone else. After all I've done for you…saved your life! _

_Me: Wait-_

_Tyki: You know, I didn't mind when everyone else made fun of me because I knew I had you by my side, but when you tell me stuff like, 'go away' or 'you're annoying' it really hurts Kandy, it really does. _

_Me: …_

_Tyki: I really love you, you know. I would do anything for you, so why, (wipes eyes) Why are you so mean to me!? Don't you have any human feelings for me?! _

_Me: Yeah…like hate and disgust? That's human right? Now…I think it's 30 breaths-_

_Tyki: I hate you Kandy! I hope one day you feel the emotional pain I feel. It's over! Don't come running to me when you are all alone! (Runs away) _

_Me: Wow…he's actually gone. A miracle. Now…what do I do with this child? _

_-_

_Daniel: Thanks for bringing me to this town. _

_Me: You're welcome, now stop thanking me. It's the 15__th__ time already and it's annoying. _

_Daniel: Do you think you'll ever be in love? _

_Me: I don't know, I haven't really thought about it. _

_Daniel: Do you still like that other guy? _

_Me: Huh? _

_Daniel: The one that was chasing us. _

_Me: No, I'm over him. _

_Daniel: So…you liked him? _

_Me: What? No. _

_Daniel: You said that you were over him, meaning that you at one point liked him. _

_Me: But that's not what I meant! _

_Daniel: Jeez, then take English class or something. _

_Me: Look kid, you can go to the Black Order by yourself! _

_Daniel: Fine, I'll just complain to Cross that you left me all alone. _

_Me: (freezes) fine let's go. _

_ We were walking along when we see a stranger dressed in black staring at us. _

_Me: Stay close Daniel, he looks like a weirdo stalker. _

_Daniel: Yes, I must agree. _

_Stranger: (glares at me and walks towards me) _

_Me: Great? Now what? _

_Daniel: I'm going to the nearest hotel, meet you there! _

_Me: Yeah, good idea. (Daniel runs away) What do you want? And who are you? _

_Stranger: Aha! It's funny that you should ask me that, Kanda. _

_Me: Uh…how do you know my name? _

_Stranger: I know many things, young one, but now, I see that your soul is very tainted. You must be purified to cure your soul. Besides, where is you loved one? _

_Me: What? _

_Stranger: You know, it's Valentine's Day! _

_Me: I don't love anyone…_

_Stranger: I see, the one you loved left you and now you're all alone. _

_Me: Not really, but sort of. _

_Stranger: I feel your pity. Now, come with me. (Holds Kandy's hand) _

_Me: Wait. What are you doing here? (Yanks hand out) _

Stranger: (Smiles) Why do you ask?

_Me: What are you doing here, __**Earl**__? _

_Earl: Well what do you think you retard? I'm going to bring you to your death. _

_Me: Why? _

_Earl: You broke up with my son and now he's mopping around the house! It's your entire fault! _

_Me: Not mine. I don't even like him!_

_Earl: How could you not like him? He's adorable! He still has…HIS CHEEK FAT! _

_Me: …yeah, that's something called, disgusting. _

_Earl: It's cute! I love him because of that! _

_Me: Okay, fine, it's called obese. _

_Earl: He is very fit! Don't make fun of his fitness! He's so adorable! If I weren't his father, I would have married him. (Glares at me) Which is what you must do if you want to live. _

_Me: WHAT?! _

_Earl: You heard me! If my son chose you, you must he have. I don't care the consequence. I would kill you and bring you body to him if I have to. _

_Me: That's just…forced marriage. And we're the same gender! _

_Earl: I don't care! I want his happiness! _

_Tyki: Father? _

_Earl: OH TYKI!!!! (Runs to hug his son) I love you! Don't worry I'll make him marry you! _

_Tyki: OH…it's okay father, I'm over him. _

_Earl: Are…are you sure about that? _

_Tyki: Yeah. I mean, he's not my type. Too plain, no muscles, long hair…_

_Me: WHAT?  
Tyki: Actually father, I have my eye on someone else. _

_Earl: Oh really tell me son! _

_Tyki: Here's a picture of them. _

_Earl: Whoa, she's hot. Well, if you want her, let's go get her. _

_Tyki: Yes father, I feel the same way. (Turns to me) Bye, my ex-lover. _

_Me: I'm not you lover, and bye. You better run why you still can. (They leave and the picture falls to the ground. I'm not sure on how I should react seeing that the picture displays the face of Lavi). _

February 19, 2010

9:43 pm

Okay back at headquarters!

Wow…it took way longer than I thought. Hmm…that kid must have read the map all wrong; then again, I don't know why I even trusted him with the map to begin with. I mean he's only a what, seven year old? Well as you must know, I rushed back as soon as I can to warn Lavi, I mean his reputation could be ruined because of this! Only, I didn't get the reaction I was hoping for, not even close.

Me: Lavi! LAVI! Yo! You over there! Sighs…HEY RED HEAD!

_Lavi: KANDY! (Hearts) You're home! I missed you darling! (Runs over to hug me) _

_Me: Paws off. _

_Lavi: Where were you? I was worried, so was everyone else! _

_Me: Really so I guess Komui nor Cross explained what had happened? _

_Lavi: Well, the first day, they said you had diarrhea and on the second day they said if anyone pestered them again, we'd have a dose as well. _

_Me: Oh…I see _

_Lavi: So where were you? _

_Me: In a mental institute. _

_Lavi: WHAT? You're not insane! _

_Me: I know, Cross's fault. _

_Lavi: Why? _

_Me: He said I was abusive to kids and stuff, but I must admit they are quite annoying. _

_Lavi: I see. _

_Me: Oh you're in trouble. _

_Lavi: Huh? _

_Me: You're in trouble you fool. You know Tyki-_

_Lavi: I hate that guy, he always tries to steal you. Last time he was definitely hitting on you. And Kandy, you're too soft to even defend yourself, that's why I must remain with you forever to protect you from men like him. _

_Me: Uh right. Well he 'broke up' with me even-_

_Lavi: YOU CHEATED ON ME?! _

_Me: NO YOU FOOL I DIDN'T GET TO FINISH YET NOW SHUT UP! _

_Lavi: Okay! 3_

_Me: He 'broke up' even though we've never been together. And, adding to that, I'm not even with you so just shut it. _

_Lavi: Yeah, whatever, you're just too shy. _

_Me: I am not shy! Now…well I'm going _

_Lavi: Where? _

_Me: To practice, what else? Someone has to be strong. _

_Lavi: Kandy I love it when you talk like that! _

_Me: …right… _

_-_

_And so I had nothing to worry about right? Because Lavi told me that he did not like Tyki. What a relief. I mean, I was afraid something might happen. _

_Lenalee: So are you feeling better now Kanda? _

_Me: Huh? Yeah. SOBA TIME! _

_Lenalee: You know a reason why you had diarrhea might be because you don't eat a balanced diet. _

_Me: I told you I didn't have it. I have to talk to Komui when I see him. _

_Lenalee: Oh don't blame my brother. I know he's a little reckless. _

_Me: A little? _

_Lenalee: Well…I don't know but here's your chance cause he's coming over here. _

_Me: Really? (Grabbing my sword) _

_Lenalee: Hey! No violence! _

_Me: You're no fun, but…fine I'll chop off his head another day. _

_Lenalee: No! He's my brother! You can't do that! _

_Me: Think of all the pain he's put me through. _

_Lenalee: Well maybe you deserve it. Maybe he was trying to help you. _

_Me: Yeah, mental hospital definitely did that. _

_Lenalee: But. _

_Komui: Lenalee, Kandy, how are you? _

_Me: What do you want? If you don't have anything educational to say beat it. _

_Komui: What's with the sudden coldness?! Oh Kandy I missed you! _

_Me: Sure you did, I bet you were laughing your head off when you sent me to the hospital. _

_Komui: (looks nervously around) Well you see…that was all Cross's idea of a good joke. _

_Me: (Arches an eyebrow) _

_Komui: Hear me out! He was bored, suck up here the whole time and he wanted some amusement. _

_Me: And you immediately turn to me? _

_Komui: I'm so sorry! I even sent Allen Walker to look for you. He should be back anytime now. _

_Me: Heh! Bean sprout couldn't find me even if his life depended on him. _

_Suddenly the lights good out and everyone is quiet. What could it be? The Noah attacking? Everyone starts to get tense. Komui gets up. _

_Komui: Calm down everyone, it could just be the power like usual. Aha. _

The doors creak open and two figures walk in.

_Earl: Aha! Hello members of the Black Order! _

_Everyone: Gasp! _

_Earl: I'm here on a personal business. My son wants Lavi if he is here. _

_Lenalee: Why should we had over one of us for your son?! _

_Earl: (Smirks) cause if you don't, I'll kill everyone here. _

_Everyone: ! _

_Lavi: Hey Guys! What's for dinner? And why is it so dark in here? _

_Person: There he is! It's him! _

_Earl: Why thank you kind sir. _

_Tyki: Father…I can handle it. _

_Earl: Okay, papa will wait outside. _

_Lavi: Yeah, what now? _

_Tyki: I have come here…(walks up to him) to…_

_Lavi: Huh? Do you have a speech impediment? _

_Tyki: (blinks and knocks him out. Lavi falls into his arms.) Now for all of you who care about this poor fellow, be warned, I will only keep him alive for three days. THREE! Perhaps many of you don't know, I have a huge crush on Kandy, whom some of you know as Kanda Yu. _

_Me: HEY! PONYTAIL MAN! WHAT THE HECK! You SAID you were OVER me, now get out! _

_Tyki: Oh Kandy, you may not know the true meaning of love. When I say I love you, I actually will always and forever and ever. Now, I will kill this man if you don't come and rescue him. (Throws a piece of paper) There's the address and I will expect you in three days or less. (Road's portal thing appears and Tyki walks in with Lavi) Goodbye…_

_Me: Oh man…._

_Lenalee: You've got to save him! _

_Me: Yeah I know. _

_Komui: NOW! _

_Me: SHUT UP! NOT NOW! _

_Lenalee: Why? Do you have anything important other than your friend's life to do right now? _

_Me: Yeah I do, I have to finish my soba. _

_Everyone: …_

_Me: It's been so long. (A crashing sound is heard and Allen enters) _

_Allen: AHA! I found you Kanda! (Stops and looks around) Hey…I'm back to where I started. The black order, are you serious? I went all over the country and this is where I end up? That was a mean prank. _

_Me: Don't look at me! It was him (Komui) who assigned you the useless mission. _

_Komui: Aha! But it was Kandy's fault of coming back too soon. _

_Me: Why you! _

_Allen: Why does everyone look so terrified? _

_Me: Maybe because you just entered. _

_Lenalee: Oh Allen! Tyki, the Noah took Lavi and won't give him back unless Kandy goes and saves him. _

_Allen: What? Well what are you waiting for! He's your friend. _

_Me: You do realize this is the second time I've got to save him. _

_Everyone: KANDY GO NOW! _

_Me: But. _

_Cross: Hello Kandy seems your back __**so**__ soon. _

_Me: …All right, all right I'm going. Jeez, just so you know Allen, you have the creepiest teacher in the world. _

_Allen: Yeah, that I must agree. _

February 22nd 1810

8:55pm

So,

I must admit I took my time getting here. I know I'm such a bad friend, but honestly, I'm so tired lately it took a lot of energy just to get here. And now I'm here, ready to save stupid Lavi's life again.

Me: Hello? (Echo) Urgh, this place gives me the chill.

Daniel: HI!

Me: GAH! What are you doing here?

Daniel: I followed you.

Me: Well, don't' blame me if you get killed off.

Daniel: I won't, I'll just complain to Cross and-

Me: All right, I'll look after you. Are you just going to use the 'Cross' thing for everything?  
Daniel: Uh pretty much, yes. ^_^

Me: Sighs…

Tyki: (emerging) Hello my dear. Good to see that you have decided to come.

Me: Where is Lavi?

Tyki: …aren't you going to ask me how I'm doing first?

Me: Uh…**NO**, I kind of came here to save Lavi in the first place, not to ask and see if you were under the weather.

Tyki: That hurts, deep down in my heart.

Road: See Tyki, that's why you shouldn't like a weirdo like him.

Me: Nice to see you Road.

Road: Oh…what's with the cold voice? I only came here because I thought you'd bring Allen, (glares) not some midget.

Daniel: Hey, whom are you calling a midget?

Road: Who else genius?

Daniel: Why I outta…

Me: Calm down kid. Where's Lavi Tyki, I won't ask again. I mean I will but the next time it will involve violence.

Tyki: NO!!!! Not violence…. those relationships are bad.

(Meanwhile behind a rock)

Lenalee: Why are we here?

Allen: Because we work for the Black Order radio station and we are about to see the real confession of Tyki and Kandy.

Lenalee: Err…right.

Allen: (waves a hand) Come on Cameraman get a close up!

Komui: This camera is heavy!

Allen: You're such a weakling. Now folks back to the story…

(Back to Kandy)

Tyki: If you really want to know where Lavi is, he's in the bathtub.

Kandy and Daniel: WHAT?!

Road: Oh Tyki…I told you this reaction would happen! Yes dear Kandy, he's in the bathtub, playing with a rubber duckie most likely.

Me: WHAT?! Then why did I even come here? LAVI YOU IDIOT!!! I'm COMING TO GET YOU!!!

(Were Lavi is)

Lavi: Go! GO! Save the day Mr. Duckie, hurry the ship is sinking! AH!! Help us Mr. Duckie hurry!

Mr. Duckie: QUAKERS! HERE I QUACK!

Lavi: AHHH WATCH OUT MR. DUCKIE A HUGE WAVE OF HERBAL ESSANCE SHAMPOO BUBBLES ARE HEADED YOUR WAY!

Mr. Duckie: Yeah, now I'll have silky shinny hair.

Earl: Who do I get to be?

Lavi: Uh…. you can be the evil uh…Canadian goose.

Earl: Why?

Lavi: Or you can be the bunny.

Earl: Bunny?

Lavi: (thinks) yeah, the Energizer bunny. (The pink one)

Earl: Don't I have to play the drums?

Lavi: Yep.

Earl: …Whatever, I'm going scuba diving.

Lavi: This bathtub is huge!

Road: uh I hate to disturb you guys but you have a visitor.

Lavi: really (Getting out of the bathtub)

Road: STOP! NOT ONE STEP CLOSER!

Lavi: Why?

Road: (Forehead smack) Cause you're a guy who's naked in the bathtub with my father…. you know how weird that is?

Lavi: Huh?

Me: What the heck are you doing in there?

Lavi: KANDY! You're just in time to play! Here, you can be the polluted purple duck.

Me: I don't want to play! Now get out of there!

Road: NO DON'T!

Me: Err right. Road go outside and then Lavi get out of there. (Road leaves, more like runs out.)

Lavi: You sure you don't want to play?

Me: I'm SURE NOW OUT!

Lavi: Eppp!

Earl: (Gasps for air) that was a good dive.

Me: …LAVI WHY ARE YOU NAKED WITH THE EARL IN A BATHTUB?!

Lavi: Aha…well if you feel bad, you can be naked too?

Me: I don't want to have a bath now get out!

Tyki: You're going to hate me but…(Pushes Kandy inside with him).

Me: NO! MY INNOCENCE! (in both ways)

Allen runs in: Hurry Komui, did you get that shot!?

Komui: (Huffs) Yes sir.

Lenalee: We've just arrived at the scene of the most romantic place ever. The bath!

Allen: As you can see it's a naked party…except for Kandy and Tyki. Hey, why wasn't I invited.

Komui: Yeah me too!

Lenalee: I'm going. (Runs)

Me: (resurfaces) TYKI YOU IDIOT! NOW I'M ALL WET!

Tyki: Your hair looks good when it's wet.

Lavi: Yeah! Kandy now let's finish the duckie story!

Me: GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Lavi: (To Tyki) HOLD HIM DOWN!

Earl: (Who got out of the water) No, I will. (Goes on a diving borad above Kandy)

Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Earl: ONE! TWO! (The diving board breaks) WEEEEEEEE!!!

Me: AGGGHHHHH! (SPLASH!! AND MORE SPLASHES!)

Lavi: WOOHOO! Good job Earl, you pushed all the water out.

Me: Uhh…my body hurts and reeks of Earl. (Climbing out of the bathtub)

Lavi: (Walks over to Kanda) Are you all right Kandy?

Me: Huh? Does it look like I'm all right?! GAH!!! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SHAME?! DIDN'T YOUR MOTHER TEACH YOU ANY DECENCY!!!!

Lavi: All right! Geez, I'm the same as you!

Tyki: That was refreshing! Pa! Let's do that again.

Earl: Sure, but we need to fix the board and fill the tub.

Me: Uh…this scent is never coming off. Eww…Earl.

Allen: Now I'm walking over to the victim. Excuse me sir, could you describe the scent of the Earl?

Me: Sure Bean Sprout (evil glares)

(Censored due to extreme violence)

Me: Happy?

Allen: All the better thank you sir…(collapses)

Komui: Too bad I can't film that. KANDY! You need to buy the Black order a new camera. This one you tore to shreds will never do!

Me: HUMM? Did you say something four eyes?!

Komui: NOTHING!!! Have a nice day! :D

Me: (Walks out)

Lenalee: Are they done yet?

Me: No.

Lenalee: Hey Yu! Where are you going?

Me: Vacation. Expect me back in about a month.

Thanks for reading, and please leave a review—of what you liked and didn't like, even predictions are welcome, you know Kandy secretly loves it. Please note that the next half of his March journals will come out soon (give or take a few weeks) I do hope that you are enjoying his frantic journals.

I hope you like Kandy's life and if you have suggestions or you would like to see something, please also include it in the review. Thanks again. And Have a good Easter!

-_**Itachianimefan. ~ **_


	19. Chapter 19

_THANK YOU SO MUCH: __**dynastayandsamuraiwarriorsfan, Ms. Notebook, YukiaSmith01, khooxp, innocentlySADISTIC, Grapes Rule, Yuu13, TouNiiSan, **__**microwave-very-nice**_ _**and**__**KogasMySexyBeast**__ for reviewing regularly. I really appreciate it and I'm glad that you all like it, that's the main point! Kandy also loves the replies, I don't know if he told you, but yes, in his heart he is so happy! So thanks for reviewing and Kandy will keep writing! Please also note I don't own man, but I wish I did. These are past entries that Kandy's been hiding from me, that's why they are post dated :D enjoy! _

March 1st 1810

5:55 pm

So as you may not have heard (or remembered: P) I have taken a month off the Black order primarily because I can't take it anymore and I need some leisure time. Now that I think about it, (as it has been a week since I started my vacation) it's really peaceful just sitting in the sun, drinking a nice cool drink and just observing the wildlife around me. Twirling the ice cubes around in the detailed glass and takes a sip and wait for the cool refreshing fruit juice make its way down my throat. Yes, this surely is the life. You know, it might be so good that when the day comes when the Black order finally defeats the Earl, I might retire and live in a place like this without anyone bothering me. And guess what happened? Well what do you think? With my luck, you should know…

Storeowner: Are you sure? That t-shirt looks great on you! You know what? I'll give it to you 50% off; surely you cannot resist such a good offer.

Me: …Well actually…

Storeowner: 75%, that's all I can do, just for you my friend.

Me…(takes the shirt off)

Storeowner: Why?

Me: (dully) it's a girl's shirt. (Walks out) Honestly, don't these people know the difference between a girls shirt or boys? Great, now where should I go? (Pulls out local map). Hmmm…a safari trip might not be so bad…(looks up at the sun) and it's not too hot today. (Thinking) Yes, I'll think I'll go do that.

Park attendant: Here's your ticket sir, just be careful. It's not everyday we get a brave adventurer wanting to explore the park by foot.

Me: Hmmm. Yes, well, I have ways of protecting myself. (The sword, by the way is hidden)

Park attendant: Have fun

Me: Will try too. (Walks away)

The bushes start to thicken almost instantly. Noises of various animals can be heard everywhere. The buzzing of local bugs rings continuously in your ears and high in the treetops, birds are communicating to each other.

Me: (Pulls out sword). I wonder what I will encounter first. I know I'm not supposed to kill anything…but it doesn't say anything about knocking them out.

To my luck, the first thing I come across is a lion.

Me: Right…(as the lion blinks hungrily at me) Nice kitty?

Voice: KANDA KANDY YUUUUUUUU!

Me: What. The. Heck?

Voice: HELP ME!

Me: …ok…well I'll just pretend I didn't hear that.

Voice: Can you hear me? KANDY?

Me: OK NO ONE CALLS ME KANDY! IT'S KANDA GOT THAT? (Lion blinks at me) What are you looking at, feline!

Lion: ?

Me: Yeah, that's what I thought.

Voice: I'm here!

Me: I can't see you…(turns to walk away)

Voice: KANDY I'M IN THE STOMACH OF THE LION! IT"S LAVI!

Me: …why am I not surprised. Well have fun, I'm in a hurry, I kind of want to see the other animals.

Lavi: You have to help me Kandy. It's horrible in here. It smells and it's all liquidly.

Me: Probably because you're flowing in stomach juices… which by the way has a pH of 1-3.

Lavi: It's BURNS! MORE THAN NAKED EARL!

Me…Yeah, it usually can take all you're skin of the bone.

Lavi: WAHHH! (Lavi punches hard through the Lion's side and his hand appears. He causally crawls out). Ah…much better. Hey Kandy!

Me: You…just killed him. (Points dully to the lion)

Lavi: (looks) OH yeah, that's ok, I think. (Looks worried) Aren't there many lions in the world?

Me: (FACEPALM!) Ok why are you stalking me?

Lavi: (offended) How could you say something like that?

Me: Cause you are.

Lavi…er, right. Well I was really worried about you.

Me: Uh huh

Lavi: And you ran away from me!

Me: It's called a vacation, and I ran away from everyone _

Lavi: WAHHH! KANDY YOU'RE SO MEAN!

Me: I know. See you. (Leaves, luckily a park attendant come and sees Lavi and then the lion).

Attendant: HEY YOU, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THESE THINGS COST?

Lavi: HEY YOU, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT THINGS STOMACH SMELLS?

Attendant: You're going to pay.

Lavi: …EPPP! KANDY HELP ME!

Attendant: Huh? You have a partner in crime? (Walks over to a running me)

Lavi: Yeah! He told me to KUNG FU this lion! And he has a crush on me XD

Attendant and me:. …WHAT THE HECK? (Attendant comes and grabs hold of me)

Me: HEY I'M INNOCENT!

Lavi: YEAH ME TOO!

Attendant: Ok you two are going to have to come with me.

Both: Where?

Attendant: Huh, your worst nightmare.

**After some time**

Lavi: I'm sorry Kandy.

Me: Yeah.

Lavi: really.

Me: Yeah, I know. You're always sorry. And then you do something stupid and then I get in trouble. I can't even have the vacation I want. Plus you're always throwing the gay thing around.

Lavi: …But…BUT

Me: Whatever, just don't talk to me. (Turns his back to him and looks through the cell bars) Huh, this is all I need now. Getting arrested.

Lavi: Look on the bright side, you're not alone, you're with me.

Me: Yeah, that's what makes it worst.

Attendant: (comes forward) That lion was currently the world's oldest lion, at 23 years. Therefore the damage you inflicted on this feline is increased.

Lavi: but if the lion was so old, wasn't it time for it to die anyway? (Innocently)

Attendant: (glares) We will be deporting you to China for work in a labor camp.

Me: WHAT?

Attendant: Unless you want to find us another lion yourselves?

Me: …ok then, I'll go to the la-

Lavi: WE'RE GOING TO FIND THE LION!

Attendant: really? Cool. I'll book the next ship to Africa for two. (Leaves)

Me: I WANTED TO GO TO CHINA!

Lavi: Why dude? When you can just catch a cat and go home. Besides we're exorcists, we're needed.

Me: WHY DIDN'T WE TELL HIM THAT THEN?

Lavi: …Oh yeah. Well we can't go back on our word now Kandy. Besides, it'll be easy. I'll track the lion and you catch it.

Me: WHY DON'T YOU! BESIDES THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT!

Lavi: Hey, maybe so, but we're family and we stick together!

Me: You're not related to me, I would have killed myself to have some stupid genes in me.

Lavi: Come on, where's the love.

Me: Not here. (Dully).

Lavi: Well, that's why we should go to Africa. It's right beside Italy and France, where the love is!

Me: Hey, do you even know where Africa is?

Lavi: Somewhere in Europe right?

Me: Oh wow…. this is going to be a long trip….

My life really really sucks. No before I thought it was crappy but now, it really is bad. I have never been to Africa, but I can imagine what it's like. Hot sticky and hot. Did I mention hot? Yeah. Well we arrived there the next day week.

Lavi: Wow Kanda look at that!

Me: (looks) It's a tree calm down

Lavi: But Kandy we don't have trees like that where we come from

Me: No duh! Now shush and follow me.

Lavi: Ok…but first…(pulls out something) I wanna picture with you! 3

Me: THIS ISN'T A HOLIDAY!

Lavi: It's whatever you want it to be Kandy.

Me: No pictures. We need to find a lion.

Lavi: So which hotel are we staying at?

Me: None, we need to sleep in the wilderness.

Lavi: Really? Like under a starry sky, and the full moon, with the crickets chirping and the birds tweeting softly.

Me: And the lion coming to eat you, the jaguar eyeing your limbs and the hyena's is looking happily at your bones.

Lavi: …Dude, you just ruined a potentially very romantic line.

Me: I know. Skilled aren't I? Okay…(pulls out a map). It'll take a good long walk to get into wilderness land.

Lavi: I'm hot and thirsty! Kandy!

Me: …Go buy something, just leave me alone to figure this out!

Lavi: OK! Be right back and don't leave me! (Leaves)

Me: Right. So…we should be here by this day and here by this day…wait, knowing Lavi, we'd only be here by this day. Or…I could knock him out on this day and make it here on this day...hmm…a more better idea? I think so.

Lavi: Here Kandy, an ice cream cone just for you!

Me: Gee um…thanks? (Takes cone) What flavour?

Lavi: I don't know, the locals say it's their specialty or something.

Me: Interesting (takes a lick) not bad, ok back to the schedule.

Lavi: OH! I remember, Zebra!

Me: What? What are you talking about?

Lavi: Zebra flavour ice cream.

Me: …WHAT? I THOUGHT IT WAS COOKIES AND CREAM OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

Lavi: Does it taste like cookies and cream?

Me: NO! BUT WHAT WAS I TO SUSPECT?

Lavi: I don't know. It's kind of…chewy?

Me:. …(Throws out 'ice cream') Where did you even buy that ice cream?

Lavi: I don't know, it was cheep from some black-cloaked people.

Me: What? Blacked cloaked people?

Lavi: Yeah.

Me: (looks around) are we being followed or anything?

Lavi: I don't know (dully a dismissive).

Me: Hey pay attention!

Lavi: Kandy, my stomach hurts

Me: Well that's what you get for eating meat ice cream! (Holds Mugen).

Lavi: Kandy I feel dizzy (falls and is unconscious)

Me: (Blinks) Well that makes my life much more easier, but…this was planned. The main question is by whom?

Voice: Well it seems that we got rid of the annoying one.  
Me: Oh now, I know that voice.

Voice: KASSANDRA! IT'S BEEN SO LONG!

Me: (Turns to see Tyki and Road dressed up in black cloaks running (Tyki) towards Me) GAH! (Picks up Lavi and runs in the opposite direction) HOW IS IT THAT PEOPLE LIKE THESE FIND ME!

Tyki: OH KANDY! YOU'RE LIKE A MAGNET TO MY HEART! THAT'S WHY!

Me: I DON'T WANT TO BE A MAGNET!

Tyki: COME BACK KANDY! IT'S…HOT…HERE…Huff.

Road: You can't catch him. (Walks casually over to her brother) Here, ice cream.

Tyki: Thanks (licks) what flavour?

Road: Zebra.

Tyki: WHAT?

Somehow, despite my luck, I managed to escape with Lavi. Hidden under some undergrowth, we slowly make our way deeper into the wilderness. Perhaps more disasters are bound to happen?

**The next day. **

Lavi: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU KANDY!

Me: Yes you said that over and over again. Now focus and stop drawing attention to yourself.

Lavi: We're the only ones here Kandy.

Me: (looks annoyed at him) really? What about that snake above you head?

Lavi: (Looks) GAHH! AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHHHHH!

(After some time)

Lavi: Ok I'm good.

Me: You just…uprooted four trees.

Lavi: I know, no need to thank me.

Me: THINK ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT FOR ONCE!

Lavi: I do, just not in times of peril.

Me: Ok…

Lavi: OK! We're here to find a lion! Now let's get looking! OVER THERE!

Me: That's an antelope; I already saw it.

Lavi: OVER THERE!

Me: That's an elephant Lavi.

Lavi: OK HOW ABOUT OVER THERE!

Me: That's a cheetah.  
Lavi: HEY OVER HERE KITTY!

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Lavi: Look, it's coming over here. (Looks again) Actually, it's running over here, Kandy is that a bad thing?

Me: YES! RUN!

Lavi: but it's so hot!

Me: Climb a tree, oh wait (glares at him) you uprooted all of them!

Lavi: Never fear!

(After some more time)

Me: You knocked out a cheetah by throwing an uprooted tree at it.

Lavi: Brilliant don't you think? And I only had two years of grade 5.

Me: …What really?

Lavi: Uh, that was a joke.

Me: (Wipes sweat) It's so hot.

Lavi: Hey do cheetahs taste good?

Me: Don't eat it.

Lavi: Ok

Me: We should camp near a water hole. (Gets up) Leave the cheetah; it should come around some time soon.

Lavi: Ok!

Searching for a water hole is harder than one thinks. First you begin to see mirages and then the heat strikes you from all sides. It's terrible. I just want to go back to Japan! I'll never take a holiday again! It turns out I lost stamina before Lavi did, honestly I have no idea how he does it. He just keeps bouncing and jumping along. Singing and dancing random made up songs and asks me to join in, like I would. Anyway, the worst part is that he saved my life again. I apparently blackout from so much heat…

Me: Where am I?

Lavi: Safe.

Me: Mphm…I highly doubt that.  
Lavi: Do you hear it? The sound of elephant's drinking water.

Me: Yeah, why do I care. Let me sleep Lavi.

Lavi: Cause you're on one.

Me: WHAT? (Opens eyes and jumps up to my feet)

Lavi: Aha! Well you see, I got tired too of walking so I saw these elephants and I spoke to them in elepahtian and they said I could ride on their back. Oh and you too, but they thought you were my food.

Me: Ok, that sounds like a lot of phooey.

Lavi: Well it's a true story!

Me: Great, how do I get down?

Lavi: PPPPLLLLEEEAAASEEE LLLEETT UUSSS DOOOOWWWWNNNNN!

Me: O_o (as the elephant lowers us down). This is so weird. I swear am I alive?

***PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, AS LAVI IS A PROFESSTIONAL. * **

Lavi: Ok, now we just wait?

Me: …Yeah.

Lavi: Cool. (Opens bag)

Me: Now what are you doing?

Lavi: I bought these before we left the ship…(reads) Ready-made smores, no fire required, just open, and face the sun and viola!

Me: ….

Lavi: I know, I'm just amazing.

Me: Add weird and crazy to that too, but thanks for saving my life.

Lavi: It's ok; I'll charge you later.

Me: (mumbles) why do I try to be nice?

Lavi: (Gets up) Whoa…whoa…WHOA!

Me: WOULD YOU QUIT IT? (Turns around) WHOA!

Lavi: See, it's a lion

Me: It looks…kind of dumb

Lavi: Yeah, well lion's are usually dumb.

Me: Why is it coming over here?

Lavi: Dunno

Me: Should we, I don't know, run?

Lavi: Nah, we can just kill it if it attacks us.

Me: (glares) you do realize that the reason we are here now is because you killed a lion?

Lavi: Yeah, so?

Me: AND YOU WANT TO KILL ANOTHER ONE? THAT'S COUNTERPRODUCTIVE?

Lavi: No, it's called self-defense, we can't really catch a lion in it's stomach now can we Kandy?

Me: …It doesn't even look like a lion.

Lavi: Yeah…it looks like…a person with a piece of cloth with a lion head.

Me: Yeah…wow, we're thinking on the same wavelengths.

Lavi: Yeah…

Me: Wait…that style of walking seems like…

Lion: KANDY!

Me: Right. I thought so.

Lavi: Who? WHO?

Me: Road…and Tyki…(FACEPALM!)

Lavi: really?

Me: Yeah.

Lavi: Wow you guys looked like a real lion from far away

Road: Thanks, it was my design.

Tyki: Was not!

Road: Was too!

Me: GUYS!

Tyki: SORRY I WAS IGNORING YOU!

Me: No, not that…

Lavi: What?

Me: THAT! (Points)

Unfortunately for me, we were staring at a pack of hungry lions.

Road: They look kind of mad.

Lavi: Or annoyed

Me: (Dully) or both.

Tyki: I agree what Kandy says.

Road: (Pulling out a lollipop) You always agree what **she** says.

Me: IT'S A HE MIDGET! (Punches Road's head)

Road: OWWWW…You're so mean!

Tyki: Road, don't be mean to Kandy

Lavi: Hey, I hate to interrupt the in-law argument, but you know, we kind of have some lions coming for us.

All: SO WHAT? YOU DEAL WITH IT! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT ANYWAY!

Lavi: …ok? But can we calm down?

Road: He actually has a point.

Lavi: Yeah I'm smart.

Me: So all we have to do is catch on of those lions

Road: YAY, and then after we can fight, for real

Me: Really?

Road: Yeah, it'll get rid of the old Kandy-Tyki thing

Tyki: NOOO! WHY WOULD YOU WANT THAT?

Me: YOU GOT A DEAL!

And here goes the amazing capture…followed by an amazing battle. Maybe my luck isn't so bad after all; stay tuned for the possible last chapter of my amazing life.

Thanks for reading, and please leave a review—of what you liked and didn't like all are welcome, you know Kandy secretly loves it. As you saw, the next chapter will be the last chapter before Kandy runs out of pages. Most likely, he will buy another journal and continue his journal entries, that is, if people still love him. Thank you so much for reading; it has been most of all a blessing to me.

" Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish." -Unknown

-_**Itachianimefan. ~ **_


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